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Ian Williams - Fetcheveryone

Johnny Blaze M60

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About Me

Dyspeptic 50 something with a deep-seated animus against Ainsley Harriott, "Twitter",perfume adverts - especially gormless bint-based French ones - pizzas which feature chicken or pineapple toppings, any kind of dried fruit - raisins, sultanas, etc all the same to me they're the droppings of Beelzebub's guinea pigs - Diane Abbott, dandelions - particularly at the "clock" stage - and people on passing buses who throw rolled up magazines at me. Nicole Kidman's forehead - what's THAT all about? Plan B - he gets on my tits proper, so he does.
Oh, hop hop videos, particularly the ones where grotesquely unattractive males crack on they have the same effect on women as Brad Pitt in a naval uniform.

If they do that crouch-y thing and point at the camera "gangsta" style that's very annoying as well.
Sean Penn is quite annoying also, as are the proliferation of deals at Tesco which mean you have to buy way more scoff than you want to, else you feel like you're paying over the odds for single items.
I heard one of the founders of NCP had a 270 ft yacht (actually it turns out it's only 75 metres). How can that be right when their car parks are such uniformly dreary shoestring operations with piss-poor design- in fact shit, shabby and entirely inimical to the idea of a positive customer experience for a reasonable price?

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