Christmas Jokes

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maT.T. Dec 2015 6:24pm, 15 Dec 2015 8,402 posts	0 maT.T. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide..
postieboy Dec 2015 6:28pm, 15 Dec 2015 2,971 posts	0 postieboy Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Bluebell2325 Dec 2015 6:47pm, 15 Dec 2015 351 posts	0 Bluebell2325 What is the difference between a snow man and a snow woman? Snow balls.
RFJ Dec 2015 6:48pm, 15 Dec 2015 3,931 posts	0 RFJ Today a British Astronaught went into space.... He class mate is now selling burgers, as his career didn't take off!!!!
RFJ Dec 2015 6:49pm, 15 Dec 2015 3,932 posts	0 RFJ not a christmas cracker joke, but one that had me in stitches..... A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it." The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch." The man perks up. "So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision." The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?" "Yes I have," says the man. "And has she helped you make a decision?" "Yes" says the man. "What is your decision?" asks the doctor "We're getting granite counter tops."
lozza Dec 2015 7:12pm, 15 Dec 2015 343 posts	0 lozza What's round and bites? A vicious circle.
lozza Dec 2015 7:19pm, 15 Dec 2015 344 posts	0 lozza I bought a new computer. When I turn it on, instead of saying "Welcome", it says "Hello". It's a Dell.
Crash Hamster Dec 2015 7:20pm, 15 Dec 2015 672 posts	0 Crash Hamster First sign of madness? Suggs coming up your garden path.
twinny Dec 2015 7:29pm, 15 Dec 2015 169 posts	0 twinny This isn't Christmas themed, but it makes me laugh every time: Teacher: Did you know the F in Physics stands for fun? Pupil: There is no F in Physics! Teacher: Precisely!!
DomStevens Dec 2015 7:46pm, 15 Dec 2015 First-time poster!!	0 DomStevens What is Dr Who's favourite food? Dalek Bread