Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.
134 watchers
Feb 2019
9:53pm, 19 Feb 2019
26,476 posts
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LindsD
Mum has kept Dad's hankies 
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Feb 2019
9:55pm, 19 Feb 2019
16,569 posts
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Carpathius
I have some of my grandpa's hankies. And his tea cosy. It's the little things
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Feb 2019
10:26pm, 19 Feb 2019
376 posts
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hurricanehamlyn
We managed to scatter Dad's ashes on weekend of 9th Feb. Mum is healthy and mentally firing on all cylinders at 80 so I shall remain on this thread in the hope I won't need it for a while and to offer support where I can. Hugs to all those who need them now.
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Feb 2019
7:02am, 20 Feb 2019
26,478 posts
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LindsD
Hope it was peaceful and as you wd want it, hh. We haven't managed it yet. |
Feb 2019
7:31am, 20 Feb 2019
25,768 posts
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LazyDaisy
Chatting to our decorator over a cup of tea yesterday, I learned that his mum is in a nursing home locally as she's crippled with Parkinson's. He said that she's run out of her own money but the process to get the LA to take over the funding was really stressful because it took so long. The level of savings is £30,000 before the state will step in and he waited til she'd got down to £30k before starting the process. It took eight months before they agreed to pay for her, so she was in debt before it was settled. He has advised me to start the process well before mum gets down to £30k. I thought there may be others this might be helpful advice for.
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Feb 2019
8:18am, 20 Feb 2019
1,172 posts
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Little Miss Happy
I hope you don't need it for a long time HH. Doesn't the LA settle the debt though Daisy? Mind you even if they do it's a stress we could all do without. |
Feb 2019
9:15am, 20 Feb 2019
7,970 posts
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Mandymoo
Our LA say it takes 6/8 weeks for them to even look at any correspondence you hand in. Am still waiting for them to look at a drs letter to help with assessing my mums grading for assisted property.
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Feb 2019
11:56am, 20 Feb 2019
17,806 posts
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ChrisHB
My wife has a carer among her friends and we're thinking about seeing if she could fit in visits to MIL. That would be incredibly good if it worked. The thing is, the carer is paid only £9/hr which is much less than we pay our cleaner and much, much less than occasional gardeners ask. To me that is a criminal wage but how much would it upset the friendship if we tried to pay what it's worth? |
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Feb 2019
1:27pm, 20 Feb 2019
1,173 posts
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Little Miss Happy
I think you just have to offer them what you think it's worth Chris but accept it if they state that they are happy to do it for their usual rate. Nothing to be upset about then.
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Feb 2019
2:04pm, 20 Feb 2019
17,807 posts
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ChrisHB
Quite so. Fortunately my wife with her female intuition will be handling it all.
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