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The Sandwich Generation - Aged Ps and children to care for?

21 watchers
Dec 2020
9:05pm, 29 Dec 2020
1332 posts
  • 0
Tinselmama
Hi, just popping in to show my face. Definitely a sandwich filling here. (hopefully sthg nice like salmon and cream cheese rather than ham or beef!). Parents both aged 77, in good health until this yr (dad now has guillian barre syndrome), daughter age 6! I am an only child who needs juggling lessons!
Dec 2020
9:07pm, 29 Dec 2020
47924 posts
  • 0
McGoohan
Liebling's aunt had G-B S a while ago. Doesn't it sometimes (often?) clear itself up?
Dec 2020
9:18pm, 29 Dec 2020
50698 posts
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Velociraptor
That's tough, McG :( I'd be very much in favour of having quite stringent expectations of an adult offspring living under your roof and making sure the young man knows that you're not going to spring for medical school costs for someone who shows no sign of being equipped even to cope with the first year, let alone when it gets really gruelling.
Dec 2020
10:28pm, 29 Dec 2020
7192 posts
  • 0
TeeBee
I'm so sorry McGoohan, that sounds horrible. I'm often losing it with ds and feeling guilty about it afterwards :-(
Dec 2020
6:16pm, 30 Dec 2020
20216 posts
  • 0
Serendippily
Just started watching this thread, as I am not a great support to my parent. Hope it’s better today McGoohan I tend to shout when I’m frightened and worried and find admitting that helps the tension after. The best advice I have is to hang on in there. Logic needs a cool environment to shine and things will settle xx
4 Jan
8:20am, 4 Jan 2021
10334 posts
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lammo
Hope it's settled down McG.

So schools aren't going back this week, and MiL has a consultants appointment following MRI re her on-going cancer, probably not good news.

It's a bit tense here to say the least.
4 Jan
8:38am, 4 Jan 2021
44092 posts
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LindsD
Sounds awful.

I'm not looking forward to online learning for LittleD either.
4 Jan
8:44am, 4 Jan 2021
47975 posts
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McGoohan
Things are improved thanks, a bit. We made peace, but the main lesson he has from it is that *I* don't take *his* health seriously rather than *he* needs to take his health seriously. He's had some tests and is going back to the GP tonight. Looks like his muscle weakness was a combo of low potassium and lack of exercise.

Youngest has been told his return to Cambridge has been put back at least a week. (I'm just glad neither are at school).

At the other end of the spectrum, MiL is still trying to get rid of the three-times-a-week helpers.
4 Jan
10:52am, 4 Jan 2021
20338 posts
  • 0
Serendippily
How children review interactions may change over time, McG, even as adults. I do talk to c9 about my fear of reinforcing or feeding her vulnerability which is why I get angry when she won’t fight for herself. I have no idea if that helps. She may view it as me reneging on my responsibilities (“I can’t help myself officer!”) or more basically, forcing her to retain a positive front at home when she does that so much of the time outside home. That would be a fair cop. I’ll let you know in five years

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About This Thread

Maintained by McGoohan
I thought we already had a thread for this but it may have just been talk on the Aged Ps/Teens threa...

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