The Sandwich Generation - Aged Ps and children to care for?

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McGoohan Jun 2023 11:45am, 7 Jun 2023 52,868 posts	0 McGoohan Just to clarify HG, you refer to her fall as being part of her 'hobby/business venture'. So is it the case that her hobby is/was horse-riding and she's since also made that her job/business? Teaching riding? (Though I'm not sure where pigs would fit into a riding stables)
LindsD Jun 2023 12:19pm, 7 Jun 2023 62,152 posts	0 LindsD I think you need to find a way to say that, HappyG. And I think your resentment is perfectly justified. But also feel free to ignore me.
HappyG(rrr) Jun 2023 12:56pm, 7 Jun 2023 46,860 posts	0 HappyG(rrr) To be honest, I think this event has shocked her into thinking her business plan altogether now. Thanks Linds as always for your support. Very much appreciated. McG, horse owning, riding, training, competing etc. has always been a hobby. Since moving here 5.5 years ago, it has transformed into idea of being a business. Has cut down her IT job to 3 days per week and horse numbers have grown to 8 from 2. Huge amount of work for missus - looking after horses, getting her own training and certificates for various teaching types. And some income from some liveries over the years, some teaching at other locations as well as our own, loads of "clinics" where other teachers come to ours and students bring their horses and both horse and owner get training and so on. Not faulting her hard work. But we've spent huge amount on the infrastructure (mostly fencing), and 8 horses cost more than 2 just in vet bills, hay, equipment and so on. It's not my business or business plan, but if it were, I'd probably never have started because I can't see how net profit can be significant enough to replace normal work. So I would rather we just minimized cost and didn't try and do the income and business thing. But I might be wrong. I'm also probably far too conservative and would never start a business because I would only see the problems. I admire my wife's enthusiasm and hard work and can do attitude. But I worry about costs, and now of course, also my wife's welfare. She really could be badly injured. She needs someone to be with her really whenever she works with the horses, and definitely ridden work with the younger ones. And that can only increase cost and restrict her flexibility. Anyway, we'll see what comes out of it. The pigs are farm animals that help us maintain our status as a working farm. Horses don't count as farm animals. If you can't eat it... (bl*ody farmers!) So this morning 1 hour to buy pig food and put it out for pigs. 1 hour at lunch time just now putting out hay and getting the horses in off the fields (did you know that horses should NOT eat grass in spring and summer?). I'm also very allergic to hay and to horses! So, lots of washing and taking extra anti-histamines before and after. Anyhoo, I shouldn't be so negative. She's just such a worry. Also a wonder, but a worry! x G
HappyG(rrr) Jun 2023 12:58pm, 7 Jun 2023 46,861 posts	0 HappyG(rrr) Sheep would be much easier than the pigs, by the way.
Sharkie Jun 2023 1:06pm, 7 Jun 2023 21,428 posts	0 Sharkie FWIW I agree with Linds. You have obviously given a LOT, because you love, admire and respect your wife. Part of your concern is just that - concern that she will be badly injured. The situation as is sounds pretty untenable. You need to talk, you need to express these concerns. I expect your missis is aware of just how much you are doing, perhaps this incident will focus things for her too?
lammo Jun 2023 1:30pm, 7 Jun 2023 12,031 posts	0 lammo Good luck happy, not sure that's going to be an easy conversation. Just teaching and running the yard is the business, so she doesn't have to ride to make that work, although i appreciate that might defeat the object
HappyG(rrr) Jun 2023 1:39pm, 7 Jun 2023 46,864 posts	0 HappyG(rrr) Thanks all. We do talk. Honest. Perhaps need to be a bit clearer or get some shared and agreed objectives. Much as I wouldn't wish any incident or injury for her, this might be the nudge that she needs to think about how sustainable what she's doing actually is. She probably does need to ride, to make things viable. While there is a side of what she does that is about horse relationship and physio, for most owners it would be as a route to being a better rider and making the horse fitter and better to ride. So not riding herself would probably be a big barrier. But what types of horses she rides and in what circumstances, I think she def needs to rethink. Thanks for not thinking I'm crazy or a total meanie! I don't do much to help her, and really just doing this bit when she is unwell isn't a big burden (though I still grump about anyone that gives me extra work to do!) but it's the bigger picture that it throws into sharp relief. Top support Fetchies, thanks! G