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Thank you for the side bar explanations. I am sure they will be very helpful to anyone with an open mind (even semi-open), which hopefully those watching this thread will be.
The only thing that that really challenges me is the use of the word cisgender to refer to what many (myself, admittedly) would understand as "normal". I note even in the sidebar COTH describes themselves as not "normal", otherwise I would have hesitated to use that "n" word myself.
On the one hand, I can think of few times when I'd need to use it. On the other hand, if I were to be referring collectively (for some reason) to a group of friends who don't identify in that "normal" way then I can see that sometimes it is necessary to have a term which is inclusive or exclusive as necessary - e.g. I might refer to "some of the experiences of my non-cisgender friends" rather than have a more complex "some of the experiences of my transgender and non binary friends" so that the Venn diagrams of conversation are properly inclusive or exclusive to the right degree, just for simple clarity.
Perhaps my resistance to the word is that it is novel - 1991 I believe is the origin for a concept (gender identity matching birth assigned anatomical sex) which is significantly older than that. Maybe I just need to "get with the times"
Larkim - we *totally* get that. Generally we do not use cis that much. But it is at times used as a placeholder for "normal", which has the obvious connotations that those on the other side are "abnormal". It is born out of the structure and implications of language, which while being correct, may imply some other connotation. As an older transgender person, we also struggle with language. It is not an easier for younger people, but at least my children are growing up with a language and fluency around gender, sexuality and presentation. We personally are pansexual (as is one child) but until she started talking about it, we would have never used that word. It wasn't in our vocabulary at her age.
Language is constantly evolving, and there is *nothing* wrong with struggling to keep up with it.
Cheers COTH! My other struggle is to understand how people react so strongly in relation to gender identity issues, but perhaps we're just going through a period of change in recognising something that was always there, but always hidden, just as sexual orientation was throughout much of the last century.
I've ended up in plenty of arguments online where I despair at some of the people I encounter. My bottom line has always been "if this scenario had been presented to you by your brother, sister, mother, father, daughter or son, would you be reacting any differently than you are now?" but even that doesn't land well it seems. It's a complex world, and it will still challenge me; but I don't mind that and I don't feel threatened by it.
(For the record, I am about as "normal" as you can get - always only interested in girls, married the first woman who'd have me (!), traditional patriarchal family set up, I drive the car, earn the most financial reward, have four boys all of whom appear to demonstrate the same gender identity as I do and have the same sexual orientation etc etc. It doesn't stop me feeling passionate about these issues though in relation to people who are, in those limited respects, different from me.)
coth, thanks for this. I have been wanting to ask you about the ‘we’ for a while, but was concerned you might find the question intrusive; I’d never seen the usage before and now I understand why.
Charles Stross once wrote a rather good sf thriller where it gradually emerged there were no cis het characters (he is bi himself). Making, I think, a point about what it feels like to see no characters like oneself. It did rather wake me up to unconscious bias of cis het being normal, and everything else being a deviation from this.
A thread about how we can encourage and include people in whatever exercise they are interested in and removing barriers to participation.
Glossary -------------------- Amendments/Corrections/Requests just ask for a sidebar edit. This is NOT comprehensive, just some helpful shorthand. ---------------------
Gender Identity ≠ Gender Expression ≠ Anatomical Sex ≠ Sexual Orientation
Anatomical sex = The physical aspects that make you fit into a category based on genitals, chromosomes etc i.e. Intersex, Female, Male... Gender identity = The internal view of gender, the way you see yourself. Gender expression = The way you present to others externally through clothing, behaviours, language and other social signals.
Sexual orientation = Who you are attracted to.
None of the above are dependent on any of the others, individuals may relate one to another in their specific case, but assuming what one might be based on observation of another is not a sound basis for determination.
Transgender (Trans) = When your gender identity does not match your identity assigned at birth based on anatomical sex. Cisgender (Cis) = When your gender identity matches your identity assigned at birth based on anatomical sex. Non Binary (Enby) = When your gender identity doesn't fall into either of the female/male choice. It may exist somewhere on the spectrum between woman and man, either stable of fluctuating between woman-ness and man-ness. This may encapsulate those that may use terms such as genderfluid, agender, demigender et al.
Pronouns = she/her, him/his, them/they etc... How to refer best to someone else. Really simply, follow their lead. Ask if unsure, be polite. If corrected, it's not a problem unless you repeatedly ignore correction.
Transition = The process somebody goes through to alter their physical attributes to better match their gender identity and expression.
Dysphoria = The distress a person feels due to a mismatch between their gender identity and their sex assigned at birth. Can fluctuate and be experienced at varying degrees. Dysmorphia = Discomfort with the shape/form of the body. Present in eating disorders and the like, but can often effect transgender people, with triggers such as body hair presence/absence, chest/genital presentation etc. Deadname - The name a person is assigned at birth, that they no longer use.
Triggers = Things that are known to cause an effect. Typically, X causes a person to experience dysphoria/dysmorphia. Sometimes these can be managed/avoided, other times they are inevitable.
Acronyms: amab = assigned male at birth (originally born anatomically male)
afab = assigned female at birth (originally born anatomically female)
ftm = female to male transitioner mtf = male to female transitioner egg = state of somebody before becoming aware they were transgender i.e. "their egg cracked when they realised and began to emerge" GIC/GIS = Gender Identity Clinic/Service, providing transition services GRS = Gender Reassignment Surgery
General notes: * Not everyone will be comfortable talking about their situation, depending on where they are. * Not everyone has the language to articulate how they feel, what they want to say. Be patient. * These things are NOT static, what you encounter in a person today may evolve into something else later. * Am I trans/cis/enby etc... Frankly, you tell us. Whatever YOU are comfortable with at the time is what we will adopt. It is YOUR identity. * This language is weird. Yup, and we (CreatureOfTheHill) as a plural system talk strange too, it's OK. We (CreatureOfTheHill) are not "normal", never have been. * Am I weird/abnormal? Possibly, but it has NOTHING to do with being here or being trans/enby or whatever. People just are in general, and that is OK, we love you for your quirkiness.
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Gender identity, please help change
Jun 2021