I told a parent to f**koff today :(
4 watchers
1 Mar
11:06am, 1 Mar 2025
456 posts
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Brandon
Hi all, I volunteer every weekend at kids athletics. A parent spoke to me in the most arrogant, condescending shitty manner, because he felt that I wasn’t measuring discuss for under 10s probably. Spoke to me like I was a piece of sh*t. I asked him what his problem was and he told me to hush, waiving me away with his hand, because he was on the phone. I couldn’t help myself and told him to f**koff. I carried on with the kids event and when finished couldn’t help myself (a mistake and too far I know) went over to him and asked if he wanted to carry on his chat with me, took my volunteer vest off and suggested we go for a walk to discuss (cringe!). He wouldn’t look at me. I was incensed and told him he was a coward. I’ve never done anything like this before and went too far but also am glad I said my piece. As a volunteer, I can’t believe the crap that parents give to athletics club committee members, let alone the volunteers. I should have been better than that today. The guy could be having a bad time for all I know. I feel crap that I reacted the way I did but also feel I’m not there, volunteering, to be treated like a piece of crap because a parent feels they can talk to volunteers like that. I hate conflict but glad I stood up. |
1 Mar
11:10am, 1 Mar 2025
52,074 posts
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HappyG(rrr)
That's awful. I do wonder what goes through parents' heads sometimes when I hear them shouting at their kids, coaches or officials. What example does that send to their kids? And generally abuse to volunteers is ridiculous. You are giving your time for free for benefit of their children. They should be grateful. Sorry this happened to you. Hope you are OK. I don't think you should feel bad about your reaction. Is there a chance for the club to speak to the parent officially? |
1 Mar
11:24am, 1 Mar 2025
10,997 posts
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Surrey Phil
Youngsters are generally really obliging but are sadly plagued by parents who cannot behave. As a former football referee, I have many times been close to reacting like that but, as an official, you are thought of as being professional and are there to take any form of abuse. From a football perspective, we could send any parent away or back to their car. If they refused, the match would be abandoned and they and their club would face disciplinary charges. Is there a way you could identify the parent through the child and report them? |
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1 Mar
11:37am, 1 Mar 2025
457 posts
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Brandon
I told the club afterwards including that I reacted the way I did. They were fine. I coached football for two seasons and the parents were great. At athletics I’ve never encountered this before, the kids are great but a few parents think it’s a trial for the Olympic Games |
1 Mar
11:45am, 1 Mar 2025
40,446 posts
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Ocelot Spleens
I don't coach children for this reason. Just not worth the possible problems.
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1 Mar
12:37pm, 1 Mar 2025
3,579 posts
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Mushroom
My daughter (u16) has played football for a local team since u8. Generally, the girls football has been much more pleasant to watch and be around - more respect for other players and the refs. But every so often there's a coach, or a parent, or a player, who pushes the boundary just that little bit more, and it's embarrassing to witness. Gary Lineker remembers when he was a teenager. He once argued with the ref, and his dad actually walked on the pitch and pulled Gary off the pitch and told him to never ever disrespect the ref again. Wonderful parenting and role modelling. I don't know what goes through a parent's mind when they're shouting and swearing from the sides. It's such an awful way to role model for their kids. The FA, and subsequently the kids teams, do a lot more in sharing what are the expected standards from the kids and their parents. It gets reinforced several times a year. Does your club have something similar that it can 'remind' the parents with? |
1 Mar
1:37pm, 1 Mar 2025
7,535 posts
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paulcook
When I coached we had an area coned off that parents weren’t allowed to enter. Perhaps it was only symbolic but I think that barrier may have placated some situations. I’ve seen the opposite of the Gary Lineker scenario above mind whereby parents actually fight on behalf of their kids. Mostly against the other parent but once was against the kid. |
1 Mar
2:12pm, 1 Mar 2025
28,429 posts
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GimmeMedals
You say that he might have been having a bad time, but he didn’t give a thought to the fact that you might have been. There is no excuse for his behaviour. He was probably shocked that you stood up for yourself, challenging his bullying. It might make him think twice before verbally attacking someone again, but I doubt it.
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1 Mar
5:27pm, 1 Mar 2025
35,215 posts
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Old Croc
GimmeMedals wrote: He was probably shocked that you stood up for yourself, challenging his bullying. Yes most bullies don't like it when you stand up to them! Just ask Donny Daft Lad. |
1 Mar
8:46pm, 1 Mar 2025
214 posts
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Dustin
Sorry to hear that Brandon. I coach juniors (& seniors) and officiate and have done for 15+ years. Technically you shouldn't have reacted, but I know that often it is difficult to bite one's tongue. Report the incident to the match referee and the child's coach if it's your club, or the team Manager (if it's another club's athlete). Generally we are encouraged to report incidents to England Athletics. I can say however, that this sort of incident is rare in the extreme, the vast majority of parents in my experience are rational humans. Don't let it put you off - the sport needs it's volunteers. |
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