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Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

1 lurker | 94 watchers
22 Feb
7:50pm, 22 Feb 2020
11986 posts
Hugs to all and welcome Dave. Good luck to your mum! :)
23 Feb
7:17am, 23 Feb 2020
1985 posts
Little Miss Happy
We like reading people's good news too Dave:-)
23 Feb
9:44am, 23 Feb 2020
18780 posts
That's really good to hear Dave :)
23 Feb
11:06am, 23 Feb 2020
29293 posts
Your mum is of that indomitable generation, isn't she? Good luck to her :-)
23 Feb
3:34pm, 23 Feb 2020
2959 posts
Wombling Plodder (Welsh Womble)
Wow, lovely news Dave. Always great to here good news.

I also echo what others have said about this thread. It is comforting to be able to pop in and share how we feel or what is happening to our loved ones - it can be very lonely dealing with such things.

It is a shame that we have to deal with stuff but that is life.

Big hugs to those that need a cwtch xx
24 Feb
4:06pm, 24 Feb 2020
11544 posts
Just spoken to my mum on the phone she tells me she is moving tomorrow but she doesnt know where and I cant get to speak to anyone on the phone........ FFS
24 Feb
5:15pm, 24 Feb 2020
1987 posts
Little Miss Happy
That must be stressful D2 - did you know that a move was imminent?
24 Feb
6:13pm, 24 Feb 2020
12005 posts
Oh no, D2.
24 Feb
6:26pm, 24 Feb 2020
38408 posts
Lip Gloss
Hope you get answers soon D2
12:02am, 25 Feb 2020
18895 posts
Saw my mum today - I was quite shocked at how weak she is. She was only half-dressed when I arrived so I saw her shoulders and upper arms maybe for the first time in 50 years, so that's also quite a shock, how thin she is and how wrinkly.

Physically I imagine she's days away from being bedridden, and mentally she's declined by what feels like 80% in the past two weeks. That may be because she is just too tired to make any effort.

I only stayed with her for an hour today, if you subtract the time she was asleep.

I think death has always been in her thoughts. She told me when I was very small that she wanted to die in a deck-chair in her garden of a summer's afternoon; she told my sister that one day she would take a taxi to Mam Tor and just sit there till she died. I wonder what else she's thought.

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About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)

Other useful links



Who pays for residential care? Information here:


Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.
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