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Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

1 lurker | 57 watchers
22 Sep
5:17pm, 22 Sep 2017
6392 posts
How the hell do people manage when there are meetings and appointments being scheduled left, right and centre?

I've already taken time off this year to attend hospital appointments with Dad, and OH is forever reorganising his day in order to speak to people. We've also missed random meetings that social workers have scheduled with Dad without telling us. Today I had a phone call (which I missed, as my phone was on silent at work, so I picked up a message) from a lady at something called Community Connections, telling me about a meeting that had been scheduled which she knew I wanted to attend. It sounds perfect, and just what Dad needs (the chance to meet up with other people in the community and just socialise), but I didn't know anything about her or the project, and had no prior knowledge of the meeting. I can't attend (I can't take more time off right now) and so once again OH is filling in. It's not even his parent! I feel so guilty about all the time he spends helping out.

Yesterday I messaged my two half-sisters and told them that Dad will need their support when we are in NZ. The eldest one replied today that they will work something out. She is actually very lovely and helpful and has a young family of her own, plus lives a distance away, so I'm not going to moan about her, but it's hard that we have to bear the brunt of this all the time.

Rant over. It's been a long week. I'm tired.
22 Sep
5:43pm, 22 Sep 2017
2271 posts
Fragile Do Not Bend
Thankfully I work part time and my brother works shifts, so between us we can usually help out my parents when needed.

Are you entitled to take additional leave in the form of carer's leave?
22 Sep
5:51pm, 22 Sep 2017
6393 posts
I could take ‘domestic incident’ leave but it’s unpaid.
22 Sep
6:16pm, 22 Sep 2017
19285 posts
It's really tough, Paula. I'm definitely feeling it now. My sister does a lot but there's a limit because of the distance.
22 Sep
6:28pm, 22 Sep 2017
19744 posts
Do the social workers have it recorded on your dad's notes that you should be party to the arrangement of any meetings, and not simply 'informed', Paula? (Not that they are even informing you it seems.) Your dad may need to make this explicit - in writing - and then any other organisations should be made aware in any referral from Social Services (which is where the Community Connections involvement has probably come from.)

Having said all that, for a working person caring for someone needing frequent meetings and appointments it must be horrendously difficult. Is there anyone like an advocate who could go to at least some appointments and keep you informed?

About This Thread

I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.