Fetcheveryone Member of the Month
Each winner receives a bundle of goodies from Ledlenser.co.uk (use RUN2SAVE25 for a 25% discount)
Interview with Caterpillar


Caterpillar says: That's actually a really difficult question. Running is a very cheap form of sport. I mean, I'd love to do a few more parkruns, but money is no object for anyone doing those! Going completely off-piste here, I was vaguely tempted by Le Marathon de Sables. I run better in the heat than in the cold, but my psychiatrist has told me that she advises against it. Besides, I just checked and it isn't 250 metres. It's 250 kilometres.

Caterpillar says: Douglas Adams. I often feel like I am living in one of his novels. The world is full of completely daft things. My new electric car plays background whale music and has ambient light in the dashboard and door pockets that you can set to any colour you like. My Sonos sound system is listening and talks to me. If it mishears something it says "I'm sorry I didn't catch that." I'm glad that the car isn't powered by bad news, no matter how fast that travels. Douglas Adams was a visionary. Thanks!

Caterpillar says: Now that is an interesting question. I have lots of kit that is very special to me that I deliberately do NOT use because I don't want to wear it out. My red Fetch hoodie is right up there. I try to keep it clean and tidy. There is a pale blue hoodie that I got for being on the Bushy Park parkrun team, and it is now extremely tatty and more pale grey than blue but it isn't my favourite thing. The BPTT (Bushy Park Time Trial) technical top only comes out on ceremonial occasions. Stuff that I wear over and over falls apart and gets chucked away in the end. If it has sentimental value it doesn't get used. Cheers!

Caterpillar says: Henley Royal Regatta. I loved rowing when I did it at college and a few years after. I've been to watch at Henley a few times, but you need tickets to the enclosures to see the finish, so I've ended up running up and down the towpath like a nutter to see some of the races. A neat trick is to hire a rowing boat and paddle down the non-course side of the river. It's not advisable to go across the course in a pedalo when two hefty crews are bearing down on you at 15mph. Don't ask me how I know this.

Caterpillar says: No. Hang on! You're not supposed to ask me questions about you. LOL. Don't stop, Dibbs! Despite appearances, running is apparently very good for the brain. Just for anyone else who doesn't know - Mrs Caterpillar has dementia. I'm even more determined not to stop running, though right now it is a bit difficult.

Caterpillar says: I always fancied going on Come Dine With Me, not to try to win, but to be completely silly. Here's my death row dinner for fellow diners. Prawns Marie Curie: radioactive prawn salad with gruyere and chocolate foam. Baked gratin of chorizo served with a coffee liqueur sauce, deep fried Snickers, and horseradish puree with an olive tuile and a pickled marshmallow. Frozen beetroot garlic and pineapple ganache, topped with whipped durian Chantilly cream. If that doesn't kill you I probably won't win.

Caterpillar says: Thats an easy one.
Wish 1: Undo Climate Change. A big CTRL-Z (undo/cancel/remove) on Global man-made CO2 emissions, or a world thermostat that we can set back to what it should be. Basically, Gas Mark 9 is too hot for the planet. I wish to reverse the mess that Homo sapiens has made.
Wish 2: You know when some bu**er pushes in front of you in the supermarket queue, or at an exit to a roundabout when driving, or in the pub? You know in a restaurant when someone is quibbling about something and manages to blag their meal for free, so the restaurant puts up their prices very slightly for everyone to cover the cost of the lost revenue? You know there are some people who don't feel it necessary to declare some things for tax purposes, or manage to claim for things they are not entitled to get, or think rules don't apply to them? Don't get me started on APCOA. Well get this ... it is always THE SAME PEOPLE. I have calculated than one person in 50 is a selfish, lazy, entitled clot, who gives nothing, takes everything, and makes life worse for you. I want that one person in 50 to be culled, and then life for you and the other 48 will suddenly improve! It's even better than that, because the useless selfish person gene is inherited, or at least makes a terrible role model for their kids, and so eliminating one in 50 will make life better for ever, for our kids and grandkids and so on. Bye bye useless trouble-maker. Hello peace and harmony. DON'T take me seriously!
Wish 3: World Peace. Actually if Putin and Trump and some others were nominated in Wish 2 then I wouldn't need this wish.
Wish 4: Cure or prevention for dementia.
Wish 5: I wish I could count to 3.