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Joke of the day........

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HarkTheHeraldAngels ♫Synge♫ Dec 2020 9:38am, 9 Dec 2020 37,842 posts	Quote Pin HarkTheHeraldAngels ♫Synge♫ A Cockney mother and her little daughter were out walking in London when they came across a wedding. The bridegroom was secretary of a posh Thames rowing club, and the ushers had formed with their oars a long ceremonial arch, through which the bride and her retinue of attendants were walking. The excited little girl said to her mother: “Cor, Mum, look at all them oars.” “Hush, luvvy,” said her mother quickly, “them’s not ’ores, them’s bridesmaids.”
Not mushroom at the Inn Dec 2020 9:38am, 9 Dec 2020 1,373 posts	Quote Pin Not mushroom at the Inn What's the best thing for scraping ice off a car window screen? I use my B&Q discount card, but I only seem to get 20% off...
geordie claus Dec 2020 9:39am, 9 Dec 2020 12,644 posts	Quote Pin geordie claus What does the CIA agent do at bed time.... He quickly goes under the covers
faithfulred Dec 2020 9:47am, 9 Dec 2020 531 posts	Quote Pin faithfulred What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus
Gogsy! Dec 2020 9:48am, 9 Dec 2020 558 posts	Quote Pin Gogsy! What do Ole Gunnar Solskjaer and Neil Lennon have in common with an Advent Calendar? Their days are numbered.
Carpathius Dec 2020 9:53am, 9 Dec 2020 20,281 posts	Quote Pin Carpathius It's been so cold this week, Government ministers have been seen putting their hands in their own pockets.
faithfulred Dec 2020 9:53am, 9 Dec 2020 532 posts	Quote Pin faithfulred A woman in labour suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!” “Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”
Strutbrother Dec 2020 9:53am, 9 Dec 2020 572 posts	Quote Pin Strutbrother Why did the chicken go to the séance? To get to the other side.
runningmumof3boys Dec 2020 9:58am, 9 Dec 2020 4,185 posts	Quote Pin runningmumof3boys What did One snowman say to the other snowman ? “Can you smell carrots “ (The oldies are the best haha)
Not mushroom at the Inn Dec 2020 9:59am, 9 Dec 2020 1,374 posts	Quote Pin Not mushroom at the Inn Prince Charles is opening a supermarket in Whitehaven. As he cuts the ribbon a local reporter makes a comment on the Prince's hat. "Your Majesty, is there any particular reason for the fox skin hat this morning?" Charles looks at the reporter and replies, "Erm, well, when I came downstairs for breakfast this morning, Mummy asked 'Charles, what are you doing today?' I said, 'I'm going to Whitehaven to open a new supermarket.' Mummy said, 'Whitehaven? Wear the fox hat..'"