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Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

1 lurker | 152 watchers
Badger
Badger
Mar 2020
1:27pm, 1 Mar 2020
11,973 posts
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Badger
It’s funny now, LMH, though to be honest at the time I got so stressed by it I had to leave the ward for a bit! Not inappropriate at all:)
Bazoaxe
Bazoaxe
Mar 2020
1:35pm, 1 Mar 2020
15,992 posts
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Bazoaxe
LMH - that has gone through my mind. I have lost count of the UTIs but I would guess we are at 20+ courses of antibiotics !

These kind of UTI conversations are worrying at the time but funny to look back on. MiL was very unhappy not to be getting home one time when a UTI had taken hold. The chief nurse was accused of just being an office boy and ordered to get someone who knew what he was talking about. I wasnt there that day but it did also take a nasty turn with violence being threatened. All was calm by the following day.
Markymarkmark
Markymarkmark
Mar 2020
8:56pm, 1 Mar 2020
10,764 posts
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Markymarkmark
Spent a few days down with my mum and sister. I am still awed andamazed my sister is as sane as she is
Helegant
Helegant
Mar 2020
11:27pm, 1 Mar 2020
6,725 posts
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Helegant
Poppng in to share a fantasy with you.

I know some folks here have sorted Probate etc for parent's estate.

From my belligerent co-executor yesterday: Apparently it was completely unreasonable and negligent of me to spend 8 weeks from my father's death in December obtaining all the valuations and evidence for the solicitor as "the entire job could have been done in three hours" if I were "not so incompetent."

It really makes me wonder why he didn't do it himself...
LindsD
LindsD
Mar 2020
6:31am, 2 Mar 2020
33,715 posts
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LindsD
Oh Helegant.

Took me months and mine was fairly simple. And there are still sime loose ends I haven't managed.
Little Miss Happy
Little Miss Happy
Mar 2020
6:46am, 2 Mar 2020
2,005 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Ouch Helegant.
Garfield
Garfield
Mar 2020
7:31am, 2 Mar 2020
12,042 posts
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Garfield
Crumbs, that's nasty. Leave him with the rest of the work, if he thinks it is so easy!
Velociraptor
Velociraptor
Mar 2020
7:32am, 2 Mar 2020
45,467 posts
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Velociraptor
He is a monster, Helegant. I have a strong wish for you to see Biblical vengeance done.
Helegant
Helegant
Mar 2020
7:41am, 2 Mar 2020
6,726 posts
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Helegant
If only...

I hope I'm close to the end of this particular stage of life, but it's all still in close memory. So I want to send virtual hugs to all who are working their way through myriad unfamiliar health and social care systems and processes to support their older, bewildered and frail family members.

And especially big hugs to those sorting through the estates while dealing with their own sadness/grief.
Helegant
Helegant
Mar 2020
8:20am, 2 Mar 2020
6,727 posts
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Helegant
On a separate note, every week I have some conversations where the person I'm speaking to is living in a different reality to me. Many of these people return to the same reality after a few days when the antibiotics start to work. However, I can't help smiling occasionally at the pictures that people's brains give them because some are genuinely funny. Others are less so, but thankfully most folks come round. Just hang in there if you can.

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk
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