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Jul 2021
6:43am, 6 Jul 2021
12,127 posts
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Mandymoo
Big-G I seem to get through blame for everything with my Mum, even though it is always a joint decision between me, my sister and brother somehow it is always my fault.
Had to take her to the hospital yesterday for a chest x-ray, thought she was going to keel over on me as she really struggled with her breathing when moving about. Had to take a copy of her DNR with me just in case 🙄
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Jul 2021
8:41am, 6 Jul 2021
990 posts
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Big_G
LMH/MM, in Dad's case, he's saying it's my fault he's in the rehab place, and that it's my fault this meeting is taking place today. Neither of these things are true. He has also said that if the outcome isn't what he wants today, he won't speak to me again. I mainly ignore it, but sometimes it gets a bit hard to ignore. I have been wondering if he may even say that he doesn't want me in the meeting today, which will be interesting if he does say that!
The thing is, I expect the outcome will be what he wants in that there will be a plan to get him home. But the details of how that will actually work in practice and what it means in terms of quality of life I know he will not like. But there's only so many times he can aggressively say to me "I don't want to talk about it", as today he'll have to.
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Jul 2021
8:45am, 6 Jul 2021
20,285 posts
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Bazoaxe
Big g, that is tough and although you are doing the right thing it isnt easy and I know you have to bite your tongue.
Medication issue resolved. Mrs A got a text just before 10 last night that said 'delivered'.
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Jul 2021
1:10pm, 6 Jul 2021
4,703 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Big_G - you probably are anyway but you could try to take a calmly logical approach with him - you agreed to come here, what would you have done - why is it my fault your wound became infected - that sort of thing.
Glad there's one less thing to worry about Baz.
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Jul 2021
1:22pm, 6 Jul 2021
20,297 posts
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Bazoaxe
Actually 3 less things to worry about as Mrs Axe got on OK at work and also the panic of being called back after an unclear mammogram turned out to be nothing to worry about 
However for someone who suffers badly from Health Anxiety it would have been nice if a reassuring phone call was made rather than just a letter and could have avoided a weekend of dread as no one was available to reassure her on Friday
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Jul 2021
2:09pm, 6 Jul 2021
48,227 posts
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LindsD
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Jul 2021
5:55pm, 6 Jul 2021
9,664 posts
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leaguefreak
I think my mum is gearing up to start the blame game a bit. If she does then she will rapidly discover I don't enter the field of play for that one.
The slightly critical jibes are beginning. "I know you don't understand me but..." etc.
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Jul 2021
6:06pm, 6 Jul 2021
52,829 posts
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Lip Gloss
My dad thought he could say what he liked to me the last time I saw him but he soon found out that wasn’t the case . I probably am in a slightly different situation as I he wasn’t really in my life for 50 odd years so there was no way he was speaking to me like I was a child.
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Jul 2021
6:09pm, 6 Jul 2021
991 posts
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Big_G
Well, the meeting actually went surprisingly well. The OT was very, very good with him. When there was a potential stumbling block/argument about to be had, she just stopped talking and let him speak, often with huge pauses of silence. Believe it or not, the main issue for him was that his bed and armchair would have to be moved as they're supplying a new bed and chair, so that he can eventually use a "banana board" to transfer himself from the wheel chair to the bed or chair. Something so simple that I hadn't even thought about as an issue ended up being the biggest issue. But when he actually let it out, I think he was just embarrassed that there may be dust under the bed, and that the drawers are full of stuff! I mean, who cares?! Certainly not me, and certainly not the OT! I already have sorted a cleaner that goes in and I just said that a hospital bed will actually be easier for her to clean under the bed and move it out the way as it's got wheels and I'll just bag up the stuff, so we got over that one.
There's no immediate plan to get him home as he's not using the banana board thing confidently at the moment. It may well all go horribly wrong when he gets home and I'll have to cross that bridge if it happens, but today ended up being a good day so at this point I'll take it.
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Jul 2021
6:11pm, 6 Jul 2021
52,831 posts
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Lip Gloss
Aw that’s good to hear Big_G
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