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Joke of the day........

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McGoohan Feb 2021 4:44pm, 23 Feb 2021 48,676 posts	Quote Pin McGoohan I went back to see my doctor yesterday. I said, "I applied the pile cream that you gave me this morning and I got a very nasty reaction." "Where exactly did you apply it?" he asked. I said, "On the bus!"
McGoohan Feb 2021 7:48pm, 23 Feb 2021 48,681 posts	Quote Pin McGoohan My friend’s nan and grandad were called Pearl and Dean, but he just calls them grandma and grandpa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa paaaaaaa
McGoohan Feb 2021 7:58pm, 23 Feb 2021 48,682 posts	Quote Pin McGoohan This morning I was driving along when all of a sudden I was rear-ended by an ice-cream van... I’m now suffering from Whippylash
McGoohan Feb 2021 7:58pm, 23 Feb 2021 48,683 posts	Quote Pin McGoohan I’ve started eating Kinder Eggs for breakfast. I’m full of surprises, me
richmac Feb 2021 9:34am, 24 Feb 2021 15,199 posts	Quote Pin richmac I saw a ghost the other night, I got my camera out to take a photo whilst it hovered in mid air waiting for me to take a snap but the camera wouldn’t work properly. The spirit was willing but the flash was weak.
Mountkeen Feb 2021 11:07am, 24 Feb 2021 446 posts	Quote Pin Mountkeen After my prostate exam the other day, the doctor left and the nurse came in. As she shut the door she whispered 3 words no man want to hear............. "Who was that?"
McGoohan Feb 2021 11:16am, 24 Feb 2021 48,697 posts	Quote Pin McGoohan My wife told me over breakfast that she was leaving me due to my obsession with twitter... I nearly choked on my #browns
McGoohan Feb 2021 11:17am, 24 Feb 2021 48,698 posts	Quote Pin McGoohan My boss just had a pop at me about me being sarcastic. He said, "Sarcasm doesn't get you anywhere." I said, "Well, it got me to the sarcasm World Championship in Uruguay in 2019." He said, "Really?" I said, "No"
McGoohan Feb 2021 11:18am, 24 Feb 2021 48,699 posts	Quote Pin McGoohan My wife yelled at me because I apparently treat her like a child... So I gave her a sticker for standing up for herself
Mountkeen Feb 2021 12:42pm, 24 Feb 2021 447 posts	Quote Pin Mountkeen During the London Blitz many of my great uncle's neighbours adopted a fatalistic approach, saying "It's all down to luck... if a bomb has your name on it, then there's nothing you can do about it!". Apparently this did little to comfort Mr and Mrs Doodlebug, who lived at number 13.