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Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

152 watchers
leaguefreak
leaguefreak
Nov 2023
10:21pm, 9 Nov 2023
11,647 posts
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leaguefreak
Sorry to hear that
Little Miss Happy
Little Miss Happy
Nov 2023
6:18am, 10 Nov 2023
6,742 posts
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Little Miss Happy
(((Kaysdee) - I've said many times that I don't know how you deal with it all. I'm sorry that you're not getting the support that you need. Is there anyone that can advocate on your behalf? Someone from the Alzheimer's Society or similar? Does your eldest have a care coordinator?
LindsD
LindsD
Nov 2023
7:16am, 10 Nov 2023
64,878 posts
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LindsD
I'm sorry. That sounds so tough.

Sending support for Big_G and NRGEE too
Serendippily
Serendippily
Nov 2023
7:33am, 10 Nov 2023
29,270 posts
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Serendippily
Me too. Blimey Kaysdee, So hard.

NRGEE i dont know if it is possible to balance being protected and excluded. For example, for you to attend remotely at the end: effectively to hear a summary on what has been said, so you understand and have a way in to ask any follow up questions, so you can support practically, without bearing the emotional brunt of dealing with both your own and your mum’s emotions simultaneously. If you can work out what will be the hardest triggers for you, there might be a middle way xx
HappyG(rrr)
HappyG(rrr)
Nov 2023
7:42am, 10 Nov 2023
48,393 posts
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HappyG(rrr)
Omgosh KSD that's so hard. Hoping SS step up their game and you can get some respite.
Big_G
Big_G
Nov 2023
8:06am, 10 Nov 2023
3,049 posts
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Big_G
Sorry to hear all of that Kaysdee. I don’t know what to say really.
Lip Gloss
Lip Gloss
Nov 2023
8:41am, 10 Nov 2023
72,128 posts
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Lip Gloss
Kaysdee that is so heart breaking to read when you are having to do everything and get no help whatsoever (( ))
Bazoaxe
Bazoaxe
Nov 2023
8:48am, 10 Nov 2023
25,873 posts
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Bazoaxe
Kaysdee. That is really tough to read and I cannot imagine ho hard it must be for you.

I have a day off today, but will be off to MiLs shortly as we have a man coming to fix a leak from her boiler.

There have been a number of minor falls recently but incredibly she continues to avoid doing any real harm. She also hasnt seemed 100% of late without being able to put our finger on what is up.
CK2
CK2
Nov 2023
8:09am, 11 Nov 2023
2,395 posts
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CK2
Nothing helpful to add except huge sympathy for you kaysdee.
Bazoaxe
Bazoaxe
Nov 2023
5:11pm, 12 Nov 2023
25,895 posts
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Bazoaxe
So tough today. Arrived to find mil on the bathroom floor. It took both of us to get her up and it wasn’t easy. Luckily she hadn’t hurt herself. She needed assistance to get cleaned up and then helped back to bed where she just looked washed out.

The falls people arrived not long after we had her back in bed.

In my opinion it’s now well beyond the point where she is safe at home. I know the reaction when this has been raised before but wonder if she might be receptive now. Her legs just don’t work.

Ideally as a family we should sit down and talk it through. But of course that needs BiL to change his ways.

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk
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