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Feb 2022
8:15am, 3 Feb 2022
8,946 posts
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The Terminator
I say only hugs as if hugs aren't the best thing in the world 🤷♂️
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Feb 2022
8:24am, 3 Feb 2022
2,459 posts
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Fields
Glad your train journey went ok terminator
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Feb 2022
8:37am, 3 Feb 2022
894 posts
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AndyS
Thanks all for the support.
@Fields - We've thought about renting first, but I'm not overly keen on the idea, as that will eat into the capital we have, making buying later on harder (which is one of the things I'm already stressing about) - but we may end up doing so anyway as it may make some parts of the process a bit easier.
@hp - thanks. We're heading over to the Black Isle this afternoon to catch up with friends we haven't been able to see for these last couple of years. I'm looking forward to that, but it means driving past a house we both fell in love with last last time we were here - and then I managed to think myself out of making an offer. It's been sold now, of course.
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Feb 2022
8:49am, 3 Feb 2022
2,461 posts
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Fields
I must admit prices rising will not have made my task of buying any easier, it’s also taken me nearly a year to get a permanent job - which still isn’t confirmed. I made my move for a 6 month contract that has been extended a few times. But getting away was for me by far the most important thing.
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Feb 2022
8:58am, 3 Feb 2022
36,747 posts
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halfpint
I try to go with my Granny’s adage of ‘what’s for you will no go by you’. When I was looking to buy I missed out on a couple of houses and was gutted. Then I found this house and it was just right and I’m so glad the others fell through.
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Feb 2022
9:04am, 3 Feb 2022
2,462 posts
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Fields
I feel the same about this rental, HP. I wouldn’t want to buy it but for my current needs it’s perfect
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Feb 2022
9:24am, 3 Feb 2022
85,338 posts
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Hanneke
Hugs are the best thing in the world!
It has been so very hard with CoVid and people social distancing and withdrawing from other human beings. I know it was an irrational reaction from my part, but when I went to the shops about 8 weeks into the first lockdown, people were moving to the other side of the street when they saw me coming... I found that really disturbing. Living on my own, most of mu human contact is with people I pass casually, on streets, in shops... And my clients but there are only 6 of them!
Interestingly, we have grown very close, my clients and I! 3 of them are also single, living alone, so I was the only person they saw once a week!
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Feb 2022
9:41am, 3 Feb 2022
85,339 posts
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Hanneke
HP speaks wise words!
I was going to move back to the continent afyer being home here, in my lovely chapel, after the referendum. I felt seriously unwelcome all of a sudden and could not live with the uncertainty of: am I going to be allowed to stay post Brexit!
House was valued, much higher than I thought, and I started looking at properties in Italy. I then decided I really really did not want to leave my home, where I thought I would live out my years, retire, die, be buried... I even have a spot on the nearby natural burial ground. I aborted plans to move but didn't proceed with my building and business plan as that involved a £65000 grant from the EU and a lottery grant for which I had to guarantee to employ 2 people for 5 years!!!
So when Covid started, I wasn't living in Italy!!! Goodness, was that fortuitous! Even though the value of my property has plummeted, I am in the better place here. I had felt resentful for years!
In 2019, December, I applied for and was offered the dream job, in Austria! Managing a massive estate, 23 staff, forestry, vinyards, walled gardens, free accomodation in the grounds, December and January off, as under snow, great pay...
In 2017 I applied for Permanent Residency, as I could no longer cope with the insecurity: can I stay in my lovely home? Do I have to leave, without being able to sell it? Post Brexit, there is a £10.000 cap on how much money you can export in one go!!! I was refused, on grounds of low income not being genuine or effective. I was semi-retired ffs!
So my stress increases and I cannot take the job in Austria as I have no Settled Status, which replaced Permanent Residency!
I resented that for a while, until half a year later: Covid! I would have been seriously scuppered in a country that forces vaccination with a property in a country I am not allowed to return to and unable to go back to the Netherlands as well!!!
So, after years of "what if" "why didn't" it transpires staying put was worth it after all! I got granted Settled Status last year, 2 days before the deadline!
My mum died in 2018, which has enabled me to do the building work without needing an EU grant AND it transpires that, wherever I would have gone to in the world, staying put was best!
So, after that long story...
Carpe Diem!
Go with the Flow!
Hard, as human nature dictates that we need to be able to plan ahead, to have some certainty...
Good luck with the house hunt: do not overthink it!
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Feb 2022
2:07pm, 3 Feb 2022
36,751 posts
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halfpint
Having a bit of a slump. My workload is unmanageable and I’m dropping hours in Feb but with same workload until end March. Feeling totally overwhelmed and using avoidance as a strategy. Felt really weird on my lunchtime walk but I think it’s just stress.
On the plus side the thing with the friend feels better. Swings and roundabouts eh!
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Feb 2022
2:13pm, 3 Feb 2022
2,477 posts
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Fields
How’s it going today Andy? Hanneke’s last sentence is key - don’t overthink it!
I’m lucky that the job I do now is a massive step down to what I used to so don’t really overstretch myself. It means being quite poor, but also means being a lot happier and not having breakdowns.
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depression
Jul 2025