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Joke of the day........

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Jock Itch Mar 2023 9:42pm, 12 Mar 2023 13,857 posts	Quote Pin Jock Itch When my Dad was unemployed he used to hide money in the bushes in our garden... He went on to become a successful hedge fund manager.
Maclennane Mar 2023 7:36am, 13 Mar 2023 30,465 posts	Quote Pin Maclennane Do you know why birds sing in the morning? Because they don't have to go to work
Sigh Mar 2023 2:07pm, 13 Mar 2023 19,547 posts	Quote Pin Sigh Who is the patron saint of email? St Francis of a cc
3M Mar 2023 2:11pm, 13 Mar 2023 20,772 posts	Quote Pin 3M Who is the patron saint of email? St Francis of a cc Very good, Sigh. I will see if I can get that into a conversation, somewhere, at work this week!
GordonG Mar 2023 8:45am, 14 Mar 2023 9,652 posts	Quote Pin GordonG Those BBC negotiations in full: “Delete the tweets” “No” “Okay, well, apologise for them” “No” “We’ll get somebody else in to do your job if you don’t” Everyone downs tools “Will you at least promise not to tweet political stuff in the future?” “No” “Okay, we have a deal”
Muttley Mar 2023 12:07pm, 14 Mar 2023 2,310 posts	Quote Pin Muttley ^ As a former BBC lifer I can confirm this ^ There's a saying at the Beeb when a huge cockup happens: deputy heads will roll.
Treborstreet Mar 2023 6:33am, 15 Mar 2023 177 posts	Quote Pin Treborstreet I’ve been laughing at mountains, they’re hill areas. I’ll get my coat.
Mountkeen Mar 2023 4:42pm, 16 Mar 2023 523 posts	Quote Pin Mountkeen Breaking news!! New recognised dog cross-breeds announced by Kennel Club (allegedly) Collie+Lhasa Apso: Collapso - a dog that folds up for easy transport Pointer+Setter: Poinsetter - the traditional Christmas pet Pekingese+Lhasa Apso: Peekasso - an abstract dog Irish Water Spaniel+English Springer Spaniel: Irish Springer - a dog as fresh and clean as mountain air Terrier+Bulldog: Terribull - not a good dog Bloodhound+Labrador: Blabador - a dog that barks incessantly Malamute+Pointer: Moot Point - owned by....oh well, it doesn't matter anyway Collie+Malamute: Commute - a dog that travels to work Deerhound+Terrier: Derriere -a dog that's true to the end Bull Terrier+Shitzu: You can figure that one out
Brunski Mar 2023 5:53pm, 16 Mar 2023 2,202 posts	Quote Pin Brunski Man is walking behind his wife and says "Your arse is getting so big it looks like an old washing machine." The woman keeps quiet. Bedtime comes and he starts getting amorous. Wife says "I'm not starting the old washing machine for such a small load. You'll have to do it by hand!"
Jock Itch Mar 2023 7:22pm, 19 Mar 2023 13,864 posts	Quote Pin Jock Itch I'm writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes. It's only a draft at the moment.