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Joke of the day........

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Jock Itch Apr 2018 8:06pm, 26 Apr 2018 12,458 posts	Quote Pin Jock Itch I fainted in the curry house when I heard REM had split up... That’s me in the Korma!
Sigh Apr 2018 4:30pm, 27 Apr 2018 1,595 posts	Quote Pin Sigh Nintendo have just brought out a new game about a little Scottish boy who goes around swearing at everybody.... It's called Wii Bastard!
Pothunter Apr 2018 9:52pm, 28 Apr 2018 472 posts	Quote Pin Pothunter [a few days old now, but worth a share anyway] Just heard the royal baby is “doing well”. “Well!” He’s only been on the planet 5 minutes, he’s already a prince, absolutely loaded and never going to have to work a day in his life. I’d say he’s fucking smashing it!
Maclennane Apr 2018 11:49am, 30 Apr 2018 19,770 posts	Quote Pin Maclennane The bloke on the till at tesco just said "wanna box for your groceries?" I managed to placate him and we agreed I could just pay on my card.
Jock Itch Apr 2018 5:04pm, 30 Apr 2018 12,465 posts	Quote Pin Jock Itch In light of the proposed merger of Asda and Sainsbury's, Marks and Spencer, and Poundstretcher are merging. The new company will be called Stretchmarks....
Binks May 2018 8:17am, 1 May 2018 7,803 posts	Quote Pin Binks Amber Rudd resigned on 29th April. Just before May.
kwala May 2018 8:37am, 1 May 2018 6,163 posts	Quote Pin kwala Very nice, Binks.
Jock Itch May 2018 3:32pm, 1 May 2018 12,466 posts	Quote Pin Jock Itch My mother used to say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Lovely woman, terrible surgeon.
Jock Itch May 2018 6:16pm, 1 May 2018 12,467 posts	Quote Pin Jock Itch Went into Greggs this morning and ordered a hot chocolate, but they added a shot of coffee to it. They’ve made a mochary of me
Jock Itch May 2018 7:56pm, 3 May 2018 12,468 posts	Quote Pin Jock Itch There's a Polish bloke next door. Every night he stands at the top of our street singing, "I want to know what love is." Bloody Foreigner.