|
Dec 2021
11:32am, 21 Dec 2021
4,343 posts
|
CC2 Speedy Goth
I have a similar issue. My best friend earns roughly 6 times what I do and constantly buys me things that I don't really want or need. I think he thinks I am dirt poor or something because he can't imagine having to live off so 'little' (I earn a reasonable salary, it's just that he earns a stupid amount). Every year he gets me an overpriced vegan hamper of stuff I don't actually like and it all ends up going to the foodbank anyway. I don't want to sound ungrateful so every year I pretend to like it, which probably isn't helping! I try to remember that him spending £100 on a gift is like me spending £16.
|
|
Dec 2021
12:01pm, 21 Dec 2021
867 posts
|
forest plodder
I do think that it gives most people a lot of pleasure to give things to their friends and family, but appreciate that it's hard if you feel one side has a much greater monetary value.
|
|
Dec 2021
12:17pm, 21 Dec 2021
9,176 posts
|
BaronessBL
I think you are right forest plodder - it's the vast expense but no thought and perhaps not really caring if you like it or not that really gets to me - Christmas for me is not about 'look how much money I have spent' but I think for some it has become a game of one upmanship. I certainly know people who have bought presents for their grandchildren largely based on 'this will be better/more expensive' than what the other grandparents have sent. And unfortunately some children lap up that sort of behaviour from adults.
|
|
Dec 2021
1:35pm, 21 Dec 2021
16,570 posts
|
geordieclaus
I’m lucky the gifts are thoughtful just not necessary we were always brought up it was about the thought not the money (like a lot of us we didn’t have much spare cash growing up) but it’s how she shows her appreciation of friendship and memories we make like you say FP.
It would be totally different if it was done without thought and just throwing money at things.
That is awful BBL but we know it happens.
Sounds like your friend is trying but missing the point CC2.
|
|
Dec 2021
2:21pm, 21 Dec 2021
5,747 posts
|
TheScribbler
I read something for work research about ‘love languages’. I mostly thought it was bobbins, but it did point to people having different ways of showing affection/appreciation.
Some people like to buy and give gifts, others like to do, say or make something.
We’re all different. I love a thoughtful gift or getting to spend quality time with a friend, but that’s not to say I haven’t appreciated some expensive presents too.
|
|
Dec 2021
2:28pm, 21 Dec 2021
16,573 posts
|
geordieclaus
All true Scribbler I appreciate what she gives and know it’s from the heart I have to not feel guilty that I can’t give same monetary value & know that by keep doing what I do with her is valued. Thanks all feel loads better now. By next year I may be able to just say thanks and not stress.
|
|
Dec 2021
3:21pm, 21 Dec 2021
16,577 posts
|
geordieclaus
And apologies for hijacking the thread. Normal service will resume 🥰
|
|
Dec 2021
10:10pm, 21 Dec 2021
33,222 posts
|
Sushi.
You haven't hijacked it GG.
It's good to discuss as many of us feel the same and hearing that it's not a lone dilemma will help us all.
This year, for one of my very close friends, I made 2 portions of 6 of her fave dishes for her freezer.
I always cook for us when we climb. I love it. She hates it.
When I turned up with her pressie last week she was delighted.
(Bonus was I also have 2 portions of everything in my freezer too. So no cooking for me over Xmas when I'm working)
|
|
Dec 2021
11:09pm, 21 Dec 2021
16,580 posts
|
geordieclaus
Thanks Sushi and it is indeed.
I’ve dragged all the gifts down I’ve bought for others I was sad I hadn’t managed to do it sooner but after my run with another friend I got home and Christmas movie on (Love Actually) a glass or two of fizz and it’s a wrap!! Only hubbies to wrap now while I send him shopping tomorrow. Let Christmas commence!!
|
|
Dec 2021
11:18pm, 21 Dec 2021
33,226 posts
|
Sushi.
Exactly GG.
It’s who’s round the tree and at the table that is important.
NOT
what’s under the tree and on the table.
|
Fetch Secret Santa 2023
Nov 2024