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Joke of the day........

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jdarun Feb 2019 7:39pm, 28 Feb 2019 3,855 posts	Quote Pin jdarun Must have gone downmarket since my granny died While we are on racist stereotypes: An old Yorkshire man lies on his deathbed, breath laboured, visibly weakening. "Is my wife here?" he asks. "Yes Bert, I’m here standing next to you." she answers. "Are my children here?" he asks. "Yes, dad, we’re here." they answer. "Are my grandchildren here?" he asks. "Yes, grandpa, we’re all here." many small voices answer. "Then why is the light still on in the kitchen?"
jdarun Feb 2019 7:41pm, 28 Feb 2019 3,856 posts	Quote Pin jdarun Scotsman tells his co-worker that he's getting married that weekend. "What's the tartan?" she asks "Oh, she'll be in a white dress."
jdarun Feb 2019 7:43pm, 28 Feb 2019 3,857 posts	Quote Pin jdarun Scotsman walks into a fishmonger and slaps a big frying pan down on the counter. "A pound of fillet" "A fiver you don't" (oh shit I've just googled that to check its origins and the first link is...me telling it here almost exactly a year ago)
BanjoBax Feb 2019 7:50pm, 28 Feb 2019 4,739 posts	Quote Pin BanjoBax meringue works in Geordie too The ashington accent is a source of some amusement also see ashingtondictionary.weebly.com
Binks Mar 2019 6:49am, 1 Mar 2019 7,866 posts	Quote Pin Binks I have a Russian friend who is a sound technition. I have a Czech one too. A Czech one too.
Sigh Mar 2019 8:48am, 1 Mar 2019 3,323 posts	Quote Pin Sigh Just got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing "Danger Zone" three times. Apparently I exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.
Shortcut Cam Mar 2019 10:03am, 1 Mar 2019 1,055 posts	Quote Pin Shortcut Cam
Nick Cook Mar 2019 10:55am, 1 Mar 2019 32,509 posts	Quote Pin Nick Cook
richmac Mar 2019 11:33am, 1 Mar 2019 11,559 posts	Quote Pin richmac Who's the coolest person at the Hospital ? The ultra sound guy
Badger Mar 2019 1:12pm, 1 Mar 2019 10,456 posts	Quote Pin Badger Who's the coolest person when he's on holiday? The hip replacement guy.