Run > Race

One of the great days. Have looked forward to it and prepared for it for so long and it didn't disappoint, despite not achieving the time I hoped for. Up at 4am had 2 bowls of porridge. Walked to Public Library and caught bus at 5.20. On Staten Island for about 6am. So how did I manage to miss my start time of 10am? Headed for my start pen at just after 9.30 but crowds round entrances to pens were so large couldn't get near. Many others in Wave 2 also couldn't get in. Like several others I eventually climbed over the 7 foot fence only to be told by a jobsworth on the other side that he would take my number off me if I didn't climb back over. I declined! Trouble was my 3.50 pace runner, that I had signed up for, went off without me. Was extremely frustrated. It soon turned out that there were many others who also wanted to run the same pace, but we were going to have to do it ourselves. I ran with Rick, two Matts and someone else. We agreed to stop at every mile for drinks. Because we were among faster runners now in 3rd Wave we had open road in front of us for first few miles but then we started catching slower runners up from earlier Wave and had to weave in and out from then on. Think we went fractionally too fast at beginning. I had to keep slowing them down. We were ahead of time early on and maintained it for quite a while. But I started to feel a bit tired at half way point and even then doubted I could maintain it. At about 18 miles started to suffer. Got cramp in a hamstring (can't remember which one) and told Rick - who was by now the only one left with me - to carry on without me while I stretched it off. Started to get back into it and caught Rick up at about 20 miles. He said he'd hit the Wall. I then left him (would love to know how he finished up - did he beat me?) but got cramp again, then really started to suffer. Had all on to keep going. The possibility of doing the 3.49 I hoped for had really gone at 18 miles but now I started losing time and the possibility of not getting under 4 hours began to loom. I gathered myself and really battled through the pain but was struggling. I managed to pick up the pace on the downhill parts of Central Park but the uphills were a real killer. I started to put on what I hoped was a bit of a sprint when it said 800m to go but it seemed an eternity. At 26 miles I knew I was struggling to make the 4 hours. I strained up the final killer of a hill to the finish line but was 5 seconds short. Gutted. I started to think back to all the places where I lost my 5 seconds. I should have done it. It was the start that did me, but there were times when I could have battled just that bit more and I know I let myself down. This was the most pain I had ever gone through in a race. Even at 20 miles I had already decided 'never again'. I just didn't want to put myself through so much discomfort again. I couldn't have trained any harder or prepared any better yet I'd still come up short. Fear I'll never go under 4 hours again, even though I still think I can do it. Then I started thinking how all the comentators on Eurosport said how tough a course New York is - the toughest of all the big city marathons - and that if I'd put in the same effort on an easier course (London, Amsterdam, Berlin, Paris?) I would have done it. So don't know what to think now. Should I beat myself up about it? Do I want to do all that training again? Need to give it some time. Disappointed in the time but what a fantastic race to take part in. Just a privilege. Crowds were fantastic. Calling my name all the time and getting a lift from the many British fans seeing my shirt. Kathryn, Martin and Carol there supporting. Very humbling as well when strangers stop you on the streets of New York, in the hotel, in the airport and on the plane to congratulate you. Will wear the medal as a badge of honour and think it was all worth it. But how I wish I could get those 5 seconds back.