Joke of the day........
505 watchers
Mar 2019
8:01am, 10 Mar 2019
12,798 posts
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Jock Itch
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection... She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns! |
Mar 2019
9:03am, 10 Mar 2019
25,379 posts
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JulesR
I rang the RSPCA to tell them I'd just found six badgers in a suitcase by the road. "Are they moving?", asked the operator. "I'm not certain", I replied, "But that would explain the suitcase" |
Mar 2019
6:17pm, 10 Mar 2019
533 posts
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M1nty
Not saying that Theresa May is out of touch with the electorate and inner city problems, sitting in her affluent Berkshire constituency, but when asked about the horrors of knife crime, she replied "Last weekend was simply awful - I attended a dinner party and the host placed the fish slice inside the steak knife, with both blades pointing outwards!".
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Mar 2019
7:20pm, 11 Mar 2019
25,380 posts
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JulesR
Breaking news from the prime minister’s trip to Strasbourg. She’s got a deal. £35 return with Ryanair. |
Mar 2019
1:14pm, 12 Mar 2019
12,799 posts
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Jock Itch
Yesterday my brother accidentally swallowed some weed killer... Fortunately he saw the fungicide! |
Mar 2019
1:14pm, 12 Mar 2019
10,513 posts
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Badger
Warning: new phone scam going around, they tell you that you've won a competition and for the prize you can either choose £100 or tickets to see an Elvis impersonator. Then you have to press one for the money or two for the show.
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Mar 2019
4:08pm, 12 Mar 2019
53,504 posts
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swittle
^ That's rather good, Badger.
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Mar 2019
6:17pm, 12 Mar 2019
12,800 posts
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Jock Itch
^older than my Nan.
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Mar 2019
6:18pm, 12 Mar 2019
53,505 posts
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swittle
pot...kettle...
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Mar 2019
6:50pm, 12 Mar 2019
8,716 posts
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The Terminator
Just back from the hospital. I'm fine but that Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name.
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