Joke of the day........

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Diogenes Dec 2018 6:50pm, 6 Dec 2018 32,677 posts	0 Diogenes (Saw this on a FB community noticeboard and was waiting for the punchline... My husband is thinking of starting a karate class in the area, just putting the feelers out to see if there is any interest?) Come on chop-chop!
Sweaty Frank Dec 2018 11:52am, 7 Dec 2018 2,330 posts	0 Sweaty Frank What's brown and sticky and not a stick? Two sticks.
Jock Itch Dec 2018 12:35pm, 7 Dec 2018 12,727 posts	0 Jock Itch My addiction to advocaat & lemonade started around Christmas time. I only tried it for a laugh one year & it just snowballed from there.
Jock Itch Dec 2018 4:19pm, 7 Dec 2018 12,728 posts	0 Jock Itch Since O2 has been down I’ve had to talk to the family. Surprised to hear mum no longer works at Woolworths.
Brunski Dec 2018 6:17pm, 9 Dec 2018 1,248 posts	0 Brunski Lost my dog last night. I was out on the streets for over two hours searching for him but with no success. When I got home and told the wife, but she just told me to go out and look harder. So I shaved my head and got a swallow tattooed on my neck but I still couldn't find him.
M1nty Dec 2018 6:29pm, 9 Dec 2018 504 posts	0 M1nty Why did the chicken attend a séance? To get to the other side.
JCB Dec 2018 4:24am, 10 Dec 2018 213 posts	0 JCB Knock, knock! .. Who's there? Lettuce. .. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it's freezing out here!
DingdocMerrilyonHigh Dec 2018 7:20am, 10 Dec 2018 25,674 posts	0 DingdocMerrilyonHigh Why is Neptune the most gaseous planet ? Because it's behind Uranus
Stander Dec 2018 9:54am, 11 Dec 2018 15,744 posts	0 Stander So the papers tell us to look out for neighbours in the cold weather. But not once has my 87 year old neighbour ever been round to check I'm okay. The lazy cow hasn't even taken in her milk for the last two weeks.
Maclennane Dec 2018 2:16pm, 11 Dec 2018 20,377 posts	0 Maclennane I went to the best burger van ever last night It had four Michelin tyres