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Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

94 watchers
14 Nov
6:19pm, 14 Nov 2019
21135 posts
Red Squirrel
Thanks all for reading and commenting. It means a lot to me to be able to share and be understood on here; esp as I have no siblings.

Daisy - my dad is exactly like that and I laughed at your dream-mare.

I also feel that maybe family don't want to come and visit due to hygiene concerns. Dad keeps the kitchen at arm height and above clean and I'm not worried about food. He cooks everything from scratch and makes delicious meals. Maybe that's another important point - in order to be able to do that; it would be nice not to worry about low-level cleaning and tucked-away corners, just washing up and food prep/cooking + gardening. We know quite a few neighbours well, so they may be able to suggest a cleaner or be using a trusted once already they could introduce to Dad.
14 Nov
11:41pm, 14 Nov 2019
30900 posts
Said it before but my Mum's cleaner is great company for her every Friday. If you can persuade him, it might have knock-on benefits.

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About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)

Other useful links



Who pays for residential care? Information here:


Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.