Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.
135 watchers
Nov 2017
2:17pm, 12 Nov 2017
6,064 posts
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bigleggy
Been to see Dad today and got step by step instructions on how to empty and half fill a hot water bottle *sigh* Hugs to all going through it at the moment. I had a tough week last week. Managed to decompress (drink a few beers) over this weekend and feel ready to go again. I'm not suggesting for one minute that alcohol is the answer by the way......... but it felt good to unwind |
Nov 2017
2:35pm, 12 Nov 2017
2,087 posts
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jdarun
Hey don't knock alcohol it really has value in some circumstances (hic). Of course important to stay in charge of the demon drink rather than vice-versa.
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Nov 2017
3:08pm, 12 Nov 2017
6,065 posts
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bigleggy
Indeed - I enjoyed em, I'm just acknowledging it's no permanent solution 
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Nov 2017
5:13pm, 12 Nov 2017
429 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Sometimes alcohol is the answer - or chocolate - and sometimes the situation calls for both.............FiL has decided that he wants to 'go for a drive' and MiL is letting him - stay off the roads of the East Midlands tomorrow. I'm really hoping he'l just decide that actually he doesn't want to do it anymore but I fear that may not be what happens. It would be really convenient if he could still drive I just don't think he's safe, his short term memory is awful and that's when he's not under pressure, and long tern isn't great, he was telling me about how 8 or 9 years ago when he travelled for work he had to take a mobile phone with him, only thing is he's been retired about 20 years.
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Nov 2017
10:48pm, 12 Nov 2017
5,272 posts
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Helegant
Sorry I haven't been into this thread recently. Like everyone else I'm a tad concerned about stuff that I can't change. Called in to see Dad at the end of my walk and he did a wonderful impression of someone who is coping wonderfully. Except... he has a number of obsessive behaviours that are on the outlying edges of normal. All of them around control. And he was exhibiting a new one that might have a rational explanation, but I know better than to ask. My brother, who lives next door, hadn't noticed anything odd. I guess when you are next to a situation it's harder to see the changes. Anyway I've written Dad a letter and mentioned it, hoping he'll reveal the reason when he's calmed down after reading it. Ho hum. |
Nov 2017
7:29am, 13 Nov 2017
20,104 posts
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LindsD
Sounds tough, Helegant.
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Nov 2017
8:01am, 13 Nov 2017
6,515 posts
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PaulaMc
I'm going to see dad later today. My half sisters took it in turns to visit him whilst we were away. They reported that he's not eating again, and left messages for the carers to push this with him. We kept a check on his bank account (he had the contactless card) and noticed that he was going out twice a day - from the patterns of spending it looks as though he is buying beer, tobacco, newspaper, sausage roll in the morning, and then going back out again in the afternoon to get more beer, which means he's drinking about 8 cans of very strong lager every day and eating very little. None of this bodes well. (One of my sisters also reported seeing him lose a tooth as he bit into one of his sausage rolls.)
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Nov 2017
8:07am, 13 Nov 2017
20,374 posts
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LazyDaisy
Oh dear Helegant. As you say it's the not being able to change anything as you see decline unfurling that's so frustrating. I had a phone call from mum's home last night. She has been getting very wound up about the air pollution in Delhi and the fact that my sister is on holiday in India. My sister has not been in touch so of course my mother assumes they are dead of asphyxiation. I have told her repeatedly that they are in Southern India a very long way from Delhi but she doesn't seem able to take that in. She's also been asking the staff when my sister is due back and getting distressed when they don't know. Again, I have told her repeatedly that she's back this Thursday. It's a strange thing, this decline in mental function. Why should she recall vividly the news reports about Delhi yet be unable to retain facts about my sister's holiday, when you'd think the latter would be more important to her? Anyway it was kind of the home to try to get the facts so they could reassure her for a while at least. |
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Nov 2017
5:16pm, 13 Nov 2017
20,380 posts
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LazyDaisy
Phoned my mum this afternoon. Her grandson came down on Saturday and drove her to Swansea to see my elder sister (his mother.) I had told her he was coming but his arrival took her completely by surprise. She said it was 'too tiring' (it's a couple of hours each way on the motorway, which I had warned him she might find a bit much) and she didn't sound very pleased to see my sister even though she hasn't seen her since March. I don't think it was a successful venture, sadly. She'd forgotten already when my other sister returns from India and was adamant that she's been away for a month (it will have been two weeks.) It's a shame, when we went for fish and chips last week she was really quite perky, but the trip to Swansea seems to have knocked her right back
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Nov 2017
5:38pm, 13 Nov 2017
2,094 posts
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jdarun
Relieved to hear that my father's got a daycare place, once a week for starters. Very local and they will do the transport too. Should give my mother some relief. I'm visiting right now and he's a hell of a nuisance these days, fussing and fidgeting and complaining non-stop. No problem for me to cope with for the odd weekend but must be hard to live with full time. Health wise they are all basically doing ok though, no major worries with my mother still very much in charge.
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