Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.
135 watchers
Nov 2019
1:02pm, 12 Nov 2019
42,217 posts
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Diogenes
Mum is still unsteady on her feet. Her carers rang me to say that she seemed quite weak and unwell. I've rung to try and get her a home visit or an appointment tomorrow when I go up. The receptionist took my number and told me to keep my phone with me at all times. She was quite forceful on that point. Now I daren't move in case I go somewhere without signal. I was going to go for a run...
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Nov 2019
5:07pm, 12 Nov 2019
30,826 posts
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LindsD
That's frustrating
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Nov 2019
5:42pm, 12 Nov 2019
28,309 posts
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LazyDaisy
I hope you heard early in the afternoon Dio, and things are OK with your mum. My mum was at least dressed today, and seemed a little bit brighter, but it's really getting very difficult when I visit her to have any sort of meaningful connection. She asks the same three things over and over, doesn't seem to register my replies, and can barely stay awake for more than ten minutes at a time. |
Nov 2019
8:16pm, 12 Nov 2019
9,088 posts
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Mandymoo
LD I had a visit like that with my mum last night- it is exhausting
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Nov 2019
10:14pm, 12 Nov 2019
7,797 posts
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leaguefreak
Dio when any acute causes are settled if she is still unsteady there may be a local falls prevention service that can look at meds, mobility etc and reduce the falls risk. A colleague recommended I got my mum in with her local one and they were very helpful.
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Nov 2019
10:22pm, 12 Nov 2019
42,244 posts
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Diogenes
Thanks lf, I’ll bear that in mind.
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Nov 2019
10:27pm, 12 Nov 2019
1,751 posts
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Little Miss Happy
I hope you’ve been able to sort the appointment Dio. I’m sorry to hear that things are getting more difficult Daisy. |
Nov 2019
1:30pm, 13 Nov 2019
21,126 posts
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Red Squirrel
Hi folks - just wondering if anyone can help. I think I may need to access support in the future but not sure where to start. Dad is 86, independent and still getting around by car; no issues there. He has a garden which he spends most of his time in and it looks amazing. He also does stuff with U3A, on his own and catches up with local friends. We lost Mum on Christmas Eve 2017 and he was her carer in her last few years when she was struggling with physical and mental health. I'm an only child and there are no other family members close, so I have no-one to check in with when I have concerns. There is a niece on Mum's side who calls Dad regularly. Dad also speaks to his brother regularly; both are in Scotland and we're in the south west of England. My main concern is his mobility. He has trouble with one of his hips (the other is a replacement) and doesn't want to have an operation. That's understandable at his age of course and I wouldn't want him to go through that if he doesn't want to. He can only now walk short distances, about 400M. Secondly, his house is not very clean, mainly at a lower level which he would struggle with and there are some new mould patches in the lounge which smell and I'm concerned about spores. I am not allowed to clean when I visit. Also, Dad is very proud and doesn't like dirt being pointed out to him. It's got to the point where it really needs addressing and I know he wouldn't let someone in; so shall I just put my foot down and do it? Relationship-wise, he's always been a difficult man and kept a lot from me re: Mum's illness. Sorry for the War & Peace - can anyone help with any ideas please? |
Nov 2019
1:36pm, 13 Nov 2019
30,848 posts
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DocMoye
hi red squirrel. sounds difficult . Would it be possible to put it to him as an hypothetical question of what would he do in the future if his mobility was to deterioarate, how would he cope with the domestic chores, and hope that he might then decide it is his idea to get some help?
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Nov 2019
7:33pm, 13 Nov 2019
21,127 posts
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Red Squirrel
Thanks Doc. That sounds like a good idea. I'll see if I can make some headway with that approach.
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