Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.
1 lurker |
135 watchers
Oct 2019
10:52am, 16 Oct 2019
17,854 posts
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Carpathius
My previous post vanished into the ether, but I'm so glad she called to apologise Mandy. Don't get sucked in to being the one who makes this arrangement work. It needs to work or fail with her. (((LG))) |
Oct 2019
2:33pm, 16 Oct 2019
27,534 posts
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oldbiddynandi
Better news MM LazyDaisy, I'm not. I have a terrifically overblown sense of guilt , Mum is a narcissist with Dementia and she still has a ridiculous place in my life. Or rather our lives. My Father facilitated her behaviour and as a result my brother and sister have distanced themselves. After her last name calling session I did say I was done . However she said she'd be *good* (she can still remember how to use her passive aggressive vocab !!) One strike and it's a home but she won't be self funding as Dad made some rather odd financial decisions so I'm guessing we'll get little support. Still bemused we are in this situation really. |
Oct 2019
8:54pm, 16 Oct 2019
2,361 posts
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TomahawkMike
My MiL isn't self funding and the support, once you get through the maze of who to talk to about what, has been pretty ok both financially (ie it just happens at the end of the process and carries on) and good support via social workers (until she had a spell in hospital). It's stressful when you don't know who to ask what at the beginning. It's like running around the tube without a map at first. But, unlike brexit there is a light at the end of the tunnel that slowly gets bigger
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Oct 2019
8:57pm, 16 Oct 2019
2,362 posts
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TomahawkMike
Ps.. the lady who fell in the garden and accidentally called us for help isn't doing well. She broke a recently replaced hip and her wrist and it's affecting her mentally, poor thing. Real concern for her from the letting agents (decent company).
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Oct 2019
6:39am, 17 Oct 2019
1,714 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Blimey that sounds difficult oldbiddy. Does she have a formal dementia diagnosis? That's the first step to accessing the funding. That's a shame Mike. |
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Oct 2019
8:46am, 17 Oct 2019
27,535 posts
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oldbiddynandi
LMH yes, it's vascular dementia and she does get Attendance Allowance. OT to visit today !! |
Oct 2019
8:54am, 17 Oct 2019
9,000 posts
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Mandymoo
Good luck with the OT visit THMike that's a shame regarding the lady who fell. I need to pluck up the courage to ring mother and see how she is but she has apparently been moaning that she is not getting any care package - errrm that is what happens when you discharge yourself from hospital........ |
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Oct 2019
11:20am, 17 Oct 2019
1,717 posts
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Little Miss Happy
I hope the OT visit is productive. Don't do it if you don't want to Mandy. |
Oct 2019
8:16pm, 19 Oct 2019
6,551 posts
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Helegant
Quietly lurking, but sticking my head round the door to offer sympathy with the **** situations that so many are having to cope with. I've seen quite a few people going home from hospital with care packages recently, some scared that they won't cope, others over-optimistic (imo), some completely refusing to help themselves when they probably could (imo). What seems very clear though is that the resources to give full support are very thinly stretched and a lot of the older folk are quite brave about complete lack of family support. I'm touched by the folks on this thread who are genuinely doing your best in very trying circumstances. I think you are heroes. |
Oct 2019
8:19pm, 19 Oct 2019
13,949 posts
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Rosehip
ditto We were very lucky to be able to get a cheque-book out and beat the system, the coordination between hospital OT and actual care support was non-existent. wishing those still working with/fighting the system much strength and 
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