Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

6 lurkers | 133 watchers
Feb 2019
3:31pm, 15 Feb 2019
26,405 posts
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LindsD
Thanks for sharing that jabberknit. That really is lovely. Awful for your Mum, though, but handled with sensitivity.

Mike, that's good news all round. I'm sure your OH is grieving, and I guess there might be some guilt in there, too, but hopefully this will pass when all involved get used to the new situation.
Feb 2019
3:42pm, 15 Feb 2019
10,129 posts
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Garfield
Take care all of you with awkward situations. Mike, glad to hear things are starting to improve. Jabberknit, what a lovely gesture to take care of your mother like that.

Hubby was getting a little agitated with his mother earlier this week when trying to tell her our travel plans to Canada were changing a bit. His cousins (4 of them) are going to be visiting her a week before, so we will be travelling out a week later so MiL isn't overwhelmed by too many people in one go! His damned cousins though...I'm glad their plans didn't overlap with ours too much as we are doing a race there too.
Feb 2019
4:44pm, 15 Feb 2019
25,701 posts
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LazyDaisy
Jabberknit that's so good to hear of kind and compassionate treatment for your mum in a horribly embarrassing situation. No doubt you'll be writing to thank them, I know I would want to.
Feb 2019
5:08pm, 15 Feb 2019
26,682 posts
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DocMoye
Nice to hear that JK. When we first moved my dad to our village in his early dementia days I was overwhelmed by how kind people were in helping to keep an eye on him for me. There are some truly good souls out there.
Feb 2019
6:23pm, 15 Feb 2019
2,668 posts
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jabberknit
Absolutely, LD, couldn't let it go unthanked!
Feb 2019
7:11pm, 15 Feb 2019
4,069 posts
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Fragile Do Not Bend
That’s great to hear about the shop’s response. Lovely staff, because that has got to have been a horrible job to clear up, and also good that store policy allows them to give a customer clothes in exceptional circumstances.
Feb 2019
7:30am, 16 Feb 2019
17,794 posts
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ChrisHB
My MIL had a similarly kind response from Morrisons for a much less severe situation.
Feb 2019
7:34am, 16 Feb 2019
17,795 posts
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ChrisHB
But now she is awful.

The second hospital appointment revealed nothing in all the tests that could be treatable, but she was given a new? arthritis drug that she will have to take under supervision.

Next Monday she has her appointment at the memory clinic.

My mum, on the other hand, left her home for the first time since October (apart from a hospital visit). We went out for lunch in a pub. We always takes some books for her to read, but yesterday I'd started from my daughter's house, so we borrowed her books. My mum could tell they belonged to a different generation just by looking at them. How do you do that?
Feb 2019
7:43am, 16 Feb 2019
26,413 posts
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LindsD
That's great news about Mum, Chris. Sorry to hear about MiL.
Feb 2019
12:34pm, 16 Feb 2019
16,550 posts
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Carpathius
That's such good news Mike, and hopefully will help your OH be happier about the move much more quickly.

How lovely Jabberknit, I'm so glad they were able to help your mum properly. That situation is most people's worst nightmare so that she could go home clean and with some dignity returned can't be underestimated.

I think could tell Chris, but then I have spent all my life reading voraciously and many years working in libraries. Your mum is obviously still sharp.
Sorry that there's no real answers about your MiL though. Maybe the memory clinic will reveal something.

MiL continues to settle in pretty well but she's started to write Tony's name everywhere on little bits of paper, chequebook, business cards from her purse etc. A slightly more worrying thing is that she was talking yesterday about one if the other residents and said with some heat "she's a right bitch!". The language and tone is a massive departure from her usual so I hope it was just a one-off. Sadly I've seen too many sweet and polite people with Alzheimer's suddenly start using words and language their family didn't think they knew.

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk

Useful Links

FE accepts no responsibility for external links. Or anything, really.

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