Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.
135 watchers
Feb 2019
8:30am, 15 Feb 2019
26,393 posts
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LindsD
That's tough, Carp
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Feb 2019
8:31am, 15 Feb 2019
26,394 posts
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LindsD
Hugs Mandy. I'm lucky with my sister, too. Mum's off to stay with her next week. Phew.
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Feb 2019
8:44am, 15 Feb 2019
1,162 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Mandy - I'm glad you have the support. Linds - you don't have to like or agree with what she's saying. I sometimes find an 'it's interesting you think/feel like that' or 'I'm surprised you feel that way' helpful, not directly confrontational but not agreeing with them. Carp - I'm going to say the same to you as I have my MiL - visit when you want to, do what you're happy with. As you've said your MiL doesn't know when you were last there and you don't need to put extra stress on yourself. Your MiL is safe, warm, fed, medicated and cared for, she'll be fine. |
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Feb 2019
8:47am, 15 Feb 2019
26,395 posts
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LindsD
V wise LMH. Thank you.
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Feb 2019
1:45pm, 15 Feb 2019
1,973 posts
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TomahawkMike
Our MiL is now in a home as of Monday, at very short notice as a room had been held for a week subject to assessment last Friday. My OH was almost grieving and yesterday was her first day without tears. MiL has had visitors and will have plenty of relatives and friends not least my OH and FiL. Its a bit of a shame for OH and her sister that MiL thinks they turned up Monday and just took her in and left her.. or so she tells her hubby (they were there 2 hours during the drop off). However... The great news which I hoped for has occurred...Its early days but already When my FiL visited all the stress and lack of patience from him which exacerbated her condition massively has dissipated in his life and he can just sit there, and show some tenderness, such as holding her hands. MiL now has an environment which is occupied by patience and caring all day long. He spent 2 hours yesterday there. He has booked lunch today (£3.50 for fish and chips..bargain), so will sit with her in one of the lounges. No matter what I think of the guy, how angry it made me to see how she was treated at home, I hoped this would re-kindle the tenderness that I presume was there many year ago. I suspect it helps that he is now alone and appreciates her. He will be enquiring about a room himself next when he sees all the carers fussing over the residents as he likes being fussed over. I see this move as providing her with improvements in every aspect of her day to day life. The first 4 days have been very positive from where I sit. |
Feb 2019
2:03pm, 15 Feb 2019
26,679 posts
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DocMoye
Tgats a lively positive update Mike. It's clearly been tough on all in the short term but sounds like a success moving forward
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Feb 2019
2:17pm, 15 Feb 2019
10,154 posts
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MazH
Awww Mike, that is lovely, and definitely good to see the exasperation dissipate. Bet FIL is a wee bit lonely too. Hope your OH is well on her way to coming to terms. x |
Feb 2019
2:21pm, 15 Feb 2019
25,697 posts
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LazyDaisy
That's a great post Mike and a much improved situation for everyone concerned, really.
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Feb 2019
3:02pm, 15 Feb 2019
2,666 posts
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jabberknit
In amongst the traumas and sadness on this thread, it's nice to be to report a surprisingly good thing that happened to my Mum yesterday. My 89-year-old Mum (still living in stubborn independence 110 miles away from me, mostly OK mentally, but physically crumbling, using 2 sticks for very slow walking) has always had - shall we say - digestive issues, which have got worse over the years. She does still like to get out and about as far as is possible for her and she took herself off in a taxi to her local large Morrison's supermarket yesterday for a little wander round. Once there she had an unfortunate and extremely embarrassing attack of diarrhoea in the middle of the store, couldn't make it to the loos fast enough, so made a bit of a mess of herself. (Sorry if this is a bit TMI, but it does improve from here!) The store's response was magnificent. They took her into the staff area, calmed her down, got her soiled clothes off her, cleaned her up, then one of the staff members came in from the shop floor with new knickers, leggings and a pair of slippers for her (her shoes were beyond saving). They wouldn't take any payment from her, just helped her dress then loaded her into a taxi and sent her home. My Mum was absolutely bowled over by how kind they were and was in tears when she rang me to tell me the tale. I'm pretty impressed myself - you don't expect big companies to have a heart! |
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Feb 2019
3:10pm, 15 Feb 2019
1,163 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Really pleased to hear that Mike. Hope your MiL settles and your wife starts to feel better about the situation. That's lovely jabberknit - it's not the big company that will have had the heart it's the local staff taking it upon themselves. There are some lovely people in the world, we just hear more about the bad ones. |
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