Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.
135 watchers
May 2018
6:19pm, 13 May 2018
3,035 posts
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Fragile Do Not Bend
I can totally understand where postie is coming from. I don’t think I could explain why, but I would find that irritating too.
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May 2018
6:23pm, 13 May 2018
5,171 posts
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postieboy
Not seeing my Mum as often as I like makes changes quite noticeable. Physically, she's fitter and healthier than a vast majority of people her age. Any 'Daily Mail' observations I respond to with a non committal grunt. She likes that rag so who am I to argue? It's the absent minded comments she makes that gets me. I go back to what I said on Friday, my Mum increasingly says things without thinking about it and is either stating the obvious quite badly or asking a question that you'd expect from a young child.
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May 2018
6:24pm, 13 May 2018
5,172 posts
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postieboy
I'll add I don't think she realises what she's saying sometimes.
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May 2018
6:36pm, 13 May 2018
22,478 posts
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LazyDaisy
I suspect that 'thinking out loud' business comes from living alone now, postie. And no matter how far 'gone' I might think my mum's brain cells might be, they still function in a different way when she talks to me compared to the carers at the home. They all think she's 'lush' - that was the actual word used by one of them. She certainly knows how to press my and my sister's buttons. Luckily because I'm the daughter who has far more contact with her, I'm gradually more and more able to see it as a form of manipulation, conscious or not. |
May 2018
8:39pm, 13 May 2018
2,860 posts
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jdarun
I think letting it all wash over you (not contradicting too much) is a vital skill. Easier when it's limited contact perhaps. Was reading a book on dementia ("contented dementia") and while that's a bit specific and prescriptive I think the general idea makes sense.
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May 2018
11:03pm, 13 May 2018
5,556 posts
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WA
Mil has a hearing aid and selective hearing. There is definitely a difference between auditory acuity and attending to what is being said. I don't think she does it intentionally, but it is frustrating how many times we have to have the same conversation because she hasn't listened the first time.
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May 2018
1:05am, 14 May 2018
14,407 posts
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Carpathius
The Internet ate my long post. I won't write it out again, suffice to say that I have great sympathy with you postie, and the reason I don't get annoyed like that with MiL when husband does, is because it's not my mum. It's so hard for families as well as the relative in question  Also (((Daisy))) |
May 2018
12:40pm, 14 May 2018
13,060 posts
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Bazoaxe
I know others have had this experience, but why do family 'politics' need to get in the way of and complicate the care for the elderly. I am expecting a text from my wife soon to tell me that there has yet again be no response to her texts or phone calls and so I am going to then need to step in and see if I can open communication lines. Otherwise we end up being there on the same days, giving the same help and then no one being around on other days which to us just doesn't make sense. Meantime some helpful neighbours I think are a bit put out that they are sometimes having to step in as they are the ones that see things during the day. My 21yo son unfortunately got a hard time from them when he was a few mins late last week to take her to a GP appt and his grandmother had ignored the request to stay inside until he arrived and he would help her to the car. Instead she was out in the street awaiting the lift to her GP apt with the neighbours making sure she didn't fall over. |
May 2018
2:59pm, 14 May 2018
29,431 posts
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Lip Gloss
Sounds exactly like my dad Baz..relying too much on the neighbours but not appreciating what they have done over the years and now they are seeing the selfish side of him
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May 2018
6:57am, 15 May 2018
22,496 posts
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LazyDaisy
Oh yes, my mum was far too reliant on her neighbours and was in denial about it. 'She can be quite cantankerous at times' said one of them, rather apologetically but truthfully.
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