Support thread for parents of teenagers

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LindsD Mar 2020 9:43am, 27 Mar 2020 34,602 posts	0 LindsD This is really not important, but I'm just dumping it here because it's bothering me. Billy came into our room at 1.30am to say that his friend H (they've been close since year 7, she's in the year above and now 18) had 'hurt herself' and needed to go to hospital and could he go with her. H lives with her parents, who we know a little. I said no. Of course. He had no details about whether this 'hurt' was self-inflicted, what was the nature of the hurt, and why her parents couldn't take her. I told him it was her parents' job to take her to hospital. All he knew was that the hurt was bad enough for paramedics, but that she had been told to take a taxi to hospital because an ambulance would take eight hours. I know there are some issues at the moment in the family home. I was not functioning particularly well at 1.30am and went back to sleep. It's bothering me because: 1. I know he wanted to go and help her. 2. I'm worried about her. She has had some mental health problems in the past. He's still asleep and will be for some time, I suspect. But there was no way I was going to let him go to a hospital right now. I'm not sure I would have let him go in ordinary times. I'm actually not sure why it's bothering me so much. There seems like there is only one decision under these circumstances.
Serendippily Mar 2020 9:51am, 27 Mar 2020 16,845 posts	0 Serendippily It’s the manner of telling that often comes out imperfect I find admitting I can make the wrong decision for the right reason helps with c9 and I am willing to be transparent as to why I think it’s right. That softens the blow a bit I hope but you have to protect him and the rest of the family and the advice we have been given to minimise the chances youll all be needing hospital beds and ventilators. It’s very hard though and I hope she’s ok xx
KatieB Mar 2020 10:17am, 27 Mar 2020 7,992 posts	0 KatieB Definitely the right decision Linds. It is hard but we have to do the right thing for our children and also the wider community and that's what you did. I hope she's ok and gets the support she needs.
Dr PhFleecyD Mar 2020 10:23am, 27 Mar 2020 49,037 posts	0 Dr PhFleecyD That’s tough Linds but you had no choice. I’m sure Billy is being the best friend he can and supporting her virtually as best he can. Poor girl, there are so many mental health problems already and this whole virus situation must inevitably be making this worse. Maybe you could contact the parents to see if you could support them somehow by listening?
1step2far Mar 2020 10:32am, 27 Mar 2020 4,779 posts	0 1step2far That's tough Linds...if any consolation at all he wouldn't be allowed in with her. At our trust it is currently 1 parent only allowed if under 18 and noone at all over 18. I hope she's ok.
1step2far Mar 2020 10:36am, 27 Mar 2020 4,780 posts	0 1step2far (Although they'll probably make exceptions for an 18 year old in crisis with 1 parent with them).
CStar Mar 2020 10:48am, 27 Mar 2020 7,649 posts	0 CStar Doc M DD2 is in exactly the same situation as T2. Has high offers at good Uni's but didn't do well in mocks due to being ill in the run up, so doesn't think she'll be given what she needs despite the fact that we think she'd have pulled it back in the last 2-3 months. She's going to see what she gets awarded and then do 'resits' in September as required and take a Gap year.
LindsD Mar 2020 10:52am, 27 Mar 2020 34,604 posts	0 LindsD Thanks all. That's really helpful and I feel better now. I didn't think of that, 1step. That's a very good point.
Dr PhFleecyD Mar 2020 11:29am, 27 Mar 2020 49,042 posts	0 Dr PhFleecyD She’ll probably still get offers CStar. Demographics are in our teens’ favour right now, they had the lowest birth rate that year and then it started shooting up. Plus fewer overseas students (possibly none?) I think teens missing A levels have plenty of room for optimism
Carpathius Mar 2020 11:34am, 27 Mar 2020 19,144 posts	0 Carpathius Linds, you did the right thing, even of we didn't have isolating rules. A probably distressed teenager in A&E can't really be helped by a concerned friend and it's a lot to ask of a friend to be support in that acute a situation. And he wouldn't be let in.