Support thread for parents of teenagers
135 watchers
Jan 2020
10:40pm, 20 Jan 2020
6,492 posts
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WA
Good to hear she's getting the help she needs, and that there is support for you as well. Wishing you all strength x
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Jan 2020
12:41pm, 21 Jan 2020
9,451 posts
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Mandymoo
So pleased that you are all getting the help you need xx
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Jan 2020
6:14pm, 22 Jan 2020
32,874 posts
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LindsD
Short version We were at a family party (elsewhere) on Sat. LittleD refused to come out of her (temporary) room and spent the first hour or so chewing her nails and being nasty to me. Then she lay on the bed face-down. Various people tried to distract her and by the end of the night she was fine, and wishing that she'd gone to the party. Today she got sent out of class again. I'm away, so have missed most of the proceedings, but have had two conversations with the school, one with a teacher who told me what happened. If his account is to be believed he gave her a lot of chances: "she's bright, if she worked at all she would do really well, etc. etc.". OH is going into school in the morning. He has got her to agree to see a counsellor that we organise. Whether that will help, I don't know. He has also told her that if things don't change there will be sanctions. I'm wondering more and more about autism but I wonder if I'm focusing on that because it would be an explanation. |
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Jan 2020
6:39pm, 22 Jan 2020
6,494 posts
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WA
Might be worth trying to find a counsellor who has some experience of autism in girls. They could then advise you on whether or not to pursue a diagnosis. Having just come out of the other end with SweetPea being diagnosed this week, I can confirm it's a huge relief and a lot has slotted into place But, LittleD needs support now, and anything formal will take time. A counsellor sounds like a good idea. Not sure about sanctions tho- they haven't had the desired effect when meted out by school. Must be hard being away, but now at least Mr D has to deal with the school for a change |
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Jan 2020
6:43pm, 22 Jan 2020
32,876 posts
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LindsD
Yes, all good points. We don't as a rule use sanctions, but nothing else has helped. Hopefully she will find a counsellor she can talk to, try to get to the bottom of what she is feeling that is making her act out like this, and work it out that way. Any sanction is likely to be the removal of her ipod, which might be no bad thing for mental health anyway, but I am uneasy about it.
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Jan 2020
5:01pm, 28 Jan 2020
22,088 posts
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Lizzie W
Brain dump. T9 has confessed to more silliness (his) after getting told off. I wish he and the teacher had mentioned this sooner. Especially as the deputy head had a chat with the bullies today. It's such a muddle - there's some cause and effect, but rather unclear. T9 can be disruptive/distracting, usually when he's not sure what he should be doing (possibly cos he wasn't listening) or it's "too hard" or "boring". This makes him unpopular with kids & teacher. He thinks no-one will help him (but may think "help" = "do for"). Teacher thinks they should all be more independent. Teacher can be sarcastic, which T9 can't handle. T9 always blames someone/thing else. I had spoken to the dep head yesterday about T9 being picked on but I hadn't had any feedback from the teacher that he is dicking about in class. And now I find out he can't tell the time on a proper clock. Aaaarrrggghhh. What did I do wrong? Apart from letting Mr W get him a tablet/Minecraft, and giving up on playdates cos they were a nightmare. And and and. |
Jan 2020
6:00pm, 28 Jan 2020
11,916 posts
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Cerrertonia
IME, a fairly significant chunk of twenty-somethings can't tell the time on a proper clock - and I'm talking about pretty smart graduates. It's not something people need to do anymore. I also think Minecraft can be a really good educational tool. Kids can use it to teach themselves all kinds of interesting things about Physics, Engineering, Computer Science and it gives lots of scope for creative thinking and originality. It's also a great way to learn about working together with other people and about perserverance, patience, saving up and taking care of resources. It's only if it becomes an obsession or is done to the exclusion of all other activities that it becomes bad, but that's also true of just about everything. I think not allowing a child to use Minecraft would probably have a similar social effect to not letting them watch television when we were growing up - you're cutting out a major topic of conversation with peers. |
Jan 2020
6:08pm, 28 Jan 2020
15,906 posts
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Serendippily
your child may be dicking about but they are also desperately unhappy and you are doing your best to be their advocate Lizzie. C9 came out of her worst time at junior school with more social skills: she was lucky. Effective and non effective become more use than right or wrong quite quickly x
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Jan 2020
6:19pm, 28 Jan 2020
33,017 posts
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LindsD
Which is exactly where we are too 
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Jan 2020
6:19pm, 28 Jan 2020
33,018 posts
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LindsD
And I agree about minecraft
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