depression
241 watchers
Jan 2019
5:13pm, 11 Jan 2019
10,911 posts
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Serendippily
I would second all that - mrS didn’t know what to do with me until I let him in a bit. he was worried it was all his fault or he’d say the wrong thing
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Jan 2019
6:00pm, 11 Jan 2019
1,255 posts
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panad
Thanks guys I can see all that makes sense. Dr was great - one of my greatest concerns was actually feeling a fraud, and that i’d be told there was nothing wrong with me... it’s taken a long slippery slope lasting for 2-3 years to get to the point that i’m not in denial that thee is a problem and the thought of someone telling me that i was actually that bad, and to just get over it was unbareable! I just burst into tears as i walked into the room, which while it made me feel very silly, meant i had no choice than to tell him what i was feeling (rather than coming up with something else entirely which i’ve been guilty of before). He listened and took notes whilst my brain just farted out everything in one hell of a jumble, but then just started asking me a few questions to clarify things. He’s refering me to CMHT, but wants to keep a check on mean in the meantime until an appt comes through. And is running some other general tests to just check everything is ok/get some baselines concerning some of the self-harm behaviours that i’ve been employing. He started asking about dates for that appt next week, and i think it was pretty obvs that my brain couldn’t cope any further (and i was trying to put it off) as he just said he’d book me the appt and get reception to ring me and tell me when it would be. They have just phoned back to book me in on monday afternoon... Exhausted now and Mr panad and youngest will be back about 10 tonight trains permitting, so off to find some cats to cuddle on the sofa with and a book/knitting/dvd or just snooze until then. |
Jan 2019
7:31pm, 11 Jan 2019
4,351 posts
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Corrah
Hope you are enjoying a snooze and kitty cuddle panad. You have been through a lot today. xx
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Jan 2019
7:24pm, 14 Jan 2019
547 posts
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NRGEE
I can see that you are fond of cats. I am feeling v depressed as I had to have my beautiful cat Sally put to sleep last week- she was a house cat and I had had her for 15 years. I loved her dearly and miss her so much:-( The flat just seems so quiet without her. I live on my own and Sally always greeted me when I came in and followed me everywhere( even to the toilet). Once I was in bed- she would hop up on my bed and curl up next to me. Sally had a short illness and stopped eating and drinking for 4 days. The vet examined her and said she had an inoperable oral tumour. I stayed with Sally cat right to the end and kissed her goodbye. I now feel lost. I don't want another cat yet- but may get one in a few months?? I think people must be thinking I am stupid getting so depressed over a cat...…..; but I can't help it. It is in the evenings(like now) that I miss her so much. I have seen my GP and am seeing him again this week. He has been v understanding. I have also seen my community psychiatric nurse. My CPN saw me last week and rang me twice and I have seen her today- again she has been great support. RIP Sally xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
Jan 2019
7:27pm, 14 Jan 2019
21,676 posts
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pedroscalls
RIP Sally, ((NRGEE)) It's not stupid, she's been a big part of your life for the last 15 years.
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Jan 2019
7:39pm, 14 Jan 2019
10,951 posts
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Serendippily
RIP sally I was very upset when we lost our cat she was very ill and I was also with her till the end. We got cats soon after because my daughter was crying herself to sleep and waking with nightmares the absence was too much for her. Left to ourselves we would have taken longer just because I was in no state to form new relationships. But of course the cats we got didn’t give a hoot what we felt as long as they were fed. Xx
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Jan 2019
9:04pm, 14 Jan 2019
1,258 posts
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panad
Not at all silly NRGEE everytime we’ve lost our of ours We’ve all mourned them significantly, and I totally understand that coming home to an empty flat feeling :’( I suspect all pet owners would understand what you’re going through  Go easy on yourself and take your time xx |
Jan 2019
7:45am, 16 Jan 2019
12,409 posts
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early bird
RIP Sally. It hits us so hard when they leave but they give so much joy when they're hear. I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had a few tough days to get through. Been stressing over my essay for university so much so I decided to do a total re write which took the whole of the weekend. Yesterday was a truly awful day attending a funeral of OH's cousin. He collapsed and died at tonbridge parkrun between Christmas and New Year. He was young in his 30's, his wife had not long beaten cancer and leaves behind two young boys. His parents had struggled long and hard to have children and he was an only child. The service was such a celebration of his life, which was an incredible one, he was one of life's givers. It was heartbreaking seeing the anguish of the boys in particular. I'm not even sure what else to say now. I think I'll just submit. |
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Jan 2019
8:05am, 16 Jan 2019
10,981 posts
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Serendippily
Christ that’s tough ((EB))
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Jan 2019
8:30am, 16 Jan 2019
30,086 posts
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HappyG(rrr)
Oh that's awful, so young and so much to live for and the poor wife and sons. Was told yesterday that a former colleague of mine died over Christmas. A couple years younger than me, we did a bit of work together a few years ago. We weren't close at all, just co-workers, but just a nice, quiet, calm colleague in a stressful job, and friendly and pleasant to talk to. He committed suicide. A wife and 7 year old twins left behind. I just can't imagine what would lead him to that. It could be anything of course, but just so, so tragic. A ridiculous waste. So sad. Everyone, please remember how much you are loved and valued, even by those who maybe hardly know you. And if you are feeling so bad that you want to do something so terrible, please speak to someone, anyone. GP, Samaritans, or for goodness sake, I'll give you my mobile, call me and I'll listen. Just don't do that terrible deed, please. (Genuinely, fmail me if you have no one else - I'll give you my number and I'll take your call. I have no knowledge or training, but I'll listen if it helps.) Gosh, it's just so awful.
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