Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

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Sep 2022
9:53am, 30 Sep 2022
3,874 posts
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decorum
Hugs to you all. It sounds like many are struggling (parent and child), be kind to yourselves!

[[Baz]]
[[Terminator]]

Any advice would be welcome about getting AP's driving capabilities tested without him knowing would be appreciated. I'm loathe to see him lose his independence, but his cognitive skills behind the wheel are getting more and more ... nightmarish! I've broached the subject a few times and he knows full well my opinion, but it's always the other person who's at fault 😉 (He also knows that I absolutely will not ask/accept an offer from him if it's dark! When I initially decided on not passengering in the dark and he had a fantastic look of glee when I needed to do go somewhere at night and the weather was manky ... not so gleefully when I opted to walk rather than accepting the lift. I got soaked! 😂🤣😂)

In other news ... the move to using the prescribed meal replacement (Aymes. For now, at least) and having Huel as the evening meal has improved my own health quite a bit ~ still getting the shakes and sweats (plus the ongoing chainsaw to the gut) but at least I'm no longer constantly nauseated nor gastrically distressed ~ the North and South winds, though noisy, are now far less vile! 😆😳🥺🤢🤮
Sep 2022
10:40am, 30 Sep 2022
9,026 posts
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The Terminator
My dad passed away yesterday, it was a shock it happened so soon but not a surprise as we knew how poorly he was even if the medical teams didn't appreciate the deterioration as greatly as we did. They all did an amazing job don't get me wrong, and I am so grateful, but he was our dad and husband you know?

I am just so glad I took the phone call and not Mum, we were literally going to be getting ready to go for visiting hours within the next half hour but they actually phone five minutes before I had arranged to arrive at Mum's.

Thanks for being here the last few weeks, I haven't said much but it has helped. Fetch truly is a strange and magical part of the universe.
Sep 2022
10:42am, 30 Sep 2022
57,209 posts
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LindsD
Hugs and strength to you. Sorry it was a bit sudden. It's never easy.
Sep 2022
10:46am, 30 Sep 2022
23,645 posts
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Bazoaxe
I am sorry to hear that news:-(
Sep 2022
10:52am, 30 Sep 2022
5,509 posts
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icemaiden
Sorry to hear your news Terminator.
Sep 2022
11:10am, 30 Sep 2022
15,187 posts
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Mandymoo
So sorry Terminator, very sad 😔
Sep 2022
11:19am, 30 Sep 2022
6,071 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Sorry for your loss The Terminator.

decorum - glad to hear you are feeling a little better. https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/travel-hobbies/driving/worried-about-someones-driving/#:~:text=A%20driver%20can%20be%20referred,a%20health%20condition%20or%20disability.

If you're seriously concerned about an older person's driving, you should write in confidence to the DVLA. They may then follow up with the local police. Think carefully about how this would affect your relationship with the person and whether there is another way for you to get them to think about giving up.
Sep 2022
11:59am, 30 Sep 2022
10,206 posts
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Fragile Do Not Bend
((Terminator))
jda
Sep 2022
12:34pm, 30 Sep 2022
13,498 posts
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jda
Sorry to hear that Terminator.
Sep 2022
12:38pm, 30 Sep 2022
1,737 posts
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poppyH
Terminator I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

Decrum sometimes a confidential report to dvla is the only way, particularly if the person has no insight/refuse to acknowledge. You have to give your details online but they don't disclose to the license holder where the information came from.

There are lots of organisations who offers senior driving assessments, if they can be encouraged to do this, maybe try selling it as a way of proving they're OK?

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk

Useful Links

FE accepts no responsibility for external links. Or anything, really.

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