Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

4 lurkers | 127 watchers
30 Sep
3:17pm, 30 Sep 2023
64,179 posts
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I would say you're a carer. Sounds like a chunk of time, though.
30 Sep
3:48pm, 30 Sep 2023
1,983 posts
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That's the same sort of stuff I did for mom.
30 Sep
4:20pm, 30 Sep 2023
2,933 posts
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LindsD, did you mean ‘I would say you’re not a carer’? I wouldn’t consider myself as one either. But if I didn’t do the stuff I do, and keeping in mind there’s no one else to do it, I don’t think he would survive at home on his own. He should be in a care home but he doesn’t want it, and it’s his choice. But I don’t now how I’ve been categorised as a carer.

Anyway, I’ve given them some feedback on the form though as when he had his leg amputation, he was basically dumped in a wheelchair at the hospital and it was just expected that ‘someone’ would get him home, which was really not easy, and I’d argue dangerous as I had to get him in the car, and then manhandle him into his house! There was no support afterwards whatsoever - I mean zero - and this is someone who cannot push himself up the bed. We’re up and running now, but it’s taken a lot of effort.

Even stupid things like when he was temporarily in an out of area care home for a short time, his GP surgery was moved to near the care home. But when he went back home the GP surgery wasn’t moved back, which caused chaos.
30 Sep
6:03pm, 30 Sep 2023
64,180 posts
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No. I would say you are.
30 Sep
6:04pm, 30 Sep 2023
64,181 posts
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Exactly as you say above. Without you, he would have to be in care.
30 Sep
10:17pm, 30 Sep 2023
2,190 posts
  • 0
That definitely counts as being a carer big_g.

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About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)

Other useful links



Who pays for residential care? Information here:


Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.


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