Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

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1 Oct
5:03pm, 1 Oct 2022
23,665 posts
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Bazoaxe
I also spoke to Mrs axe before and we agreed I would raise concerns about how safe she is at home as neither Mrs axe or BiL want to be the ‘baddie’

Her response was to ask what the options were and I said we could pay for extra care or consider a care home. The suggestion was emphatically rejected as an option. She did say she would think about paid for care so that wasn’t dismissed although neither was it seen as an option.
1 Oct
5:13pm, 1 Oct 2022
22,400 posts
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Red Squirrel
AgeUK chap came round and we've applied for attendance allowance which will take 6-7 weeks. and be backdated from time of application if it's granted. Dad has agreed to look at help in the home if we get AA. At the moment, he sits in his dressing gown in the lounge reading and feels tired all the time.

Dad has given me his car, but it's still in his name and in his garage. I actually don't want a car as I'm insured for my friend's car (I'm his lodger). I assume the best idea would be to sell it while it's in Dad's name; maybe to the garage where he bought it and who have done all the servicing? What do people think? I'm not well-off and can't afford to run a car for the sake of it. I also live in a city choked with cars.
1 Oct
5:18pm, 1 Oct 2022
57,232 posts
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LindsD
I would sell it back to the dealer for ease. That's what we did with Mum's. We got a reasonable amount for it
jda
1 Oct
5:20pm, 1 Oct 2022
13,509 posts
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jda
Yes, get rid, the sooner the better, it's only gently decaying and costing money every day you own it. You'd probably get a better price with a private sale but you have all the hassle of organising that.
1 Oct
5:23pm, 1 Oct 2022
57,233 posts
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LindsD
Agree
1 Oct
5:36pm, 1 Oct 2022
22,402 posts
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Red Squirrel
Thanks folks. I think selling it to dealer makes sense. They know Dad well and he's bought all his cars from them. It will give Dad some more money in his pocket too.
1 Oct
5:47pm, 1 Oct 2022
65,119 posts
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Lip Gloss
Definitely the most sensible thing to do RS especially if you know you won’t use it.
1 Oct
6:15pm, 1 Oct 2022
6,084 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Good that he’s agreed to the AA RS. I’d agree- sell the car.
1 Oct
11:04pm, 1 Oct 2022
3,878 posts
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decorum
Sounds positive RS.

Baz, that's double tough! I know what you mean though as we, SWMBO and myself are the baddies and those who don't deal with the real him just think we just just agree with whatever he says and let him do as he pleases (though they do seem to find a plethora of ways to avoid, or cancel, spending time with him 😉 😆 ).

Today has been blissfully uneventful. We can't quite work out whether he's ignoring us* or has had a moment of lucidity and is a bit embarrassed ...

* slightly less likely as he just has to poke and snipe at anyone who he can't charm and/or doesn't kow tow to him ...
2 Oct
12:47pm, 2 Oct 2022
15,619 posts
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Badger
Bit behind here. Condolences, Terminator, sounds pretty sudden in the end.

Driving thing is tricky. My father stopped driving at night because he knew his eyesight wasn't cutting it, then decided he had a responsibility to drive one night and hit a barrier at a roundabout. Nobody hurt and he surrendered his licence after that.

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About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk

Useful Links

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