Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

114 watchers

Bazoaxe 1 Oct 5:03pm, 1 Oct 2022 23,665 posts	0 Bazoaxe I also spoke to Mrs axe before and we agreed I would raise concerns about how safe she is at home as neither Mrs axe or BiL want to be the ‘baddie’ Her response was to ask what the options were and I said we could pay for extra care or consider a care home. The suggestion was emphatically rejected as an option. She did say she would think about paid for care so that wasn’t dismissed although neither was it seen as an option.
Red Squirrel 1 Oct 5:13pm, 1 Oct 2022 22,400 posts	0 Red Squirrel AgeUK chap came round and we've applied for attendance allowance which will take 6-7 weeks. and be backdated from time of application if it's granted. Dad has agreed to look at help in the home if we get AA. At the moment, he sits in his dressing gown in the lounge reading and feels tired all the time. Dad has given me his car, but it's still in his name and in his garage. I actually don't want a car as I'm insured for my friend's car (I'm his lodger). I assume the best idea would be to sell it while it's in Dad's name; maybe to the garage where he bought it and who have done all the servicing? What do people think? I'm not well-off and can't afford to run a car for the sake of it. I also live in a city choked with cars.
LindsD 1 Oct 5:18pm, 1 Oct 2022 57,232 posts	0 LindsD I would sell it back to the dealer for ease. That's what we did with Mum's. We got a reasonable amount for it
jda 1 Oct 5:20pm, 1 Oct 2022 13,509 posts	0 jda Yes, get rid, the sooner the better, it's only gently decaying and costing money every day you own it. You'd probably get a better price with a private sale but you have all the hassle of organising that.
LindsD 1 Oct 5:23pm, 1 Oct 2022 57,233 posts	0 LindsD Agree
Red Squirrel 1 Oct 5:36pm, 1 Oct 2022 22,402 posts	0 Red Squirrel Thanks folks. I think selling it to dealer makes sense. They know Dad well and he's bought all his cars from them. It will give Dad some more money in his pocket too.
Lip Gloss 1 Oct 5:47pm, 1 Oct 2022 65,119 posts	0 Lip Gloss Definitely the most sensible thing to do RS especially if you know you won’t use it.
Little Miss Happy 1 Oct 6:15pm, 1 Oct 2022 6,084 posts	0 Little Miss Happy Good that he’s agreed to the AA RS. I’d agree- sell the car.
decorum 1 Oct 11:04pm, 1 Oct 2022 3,878 posts	0 decorum Sounds positive RS. Baz, that's double tough! I know what you mean though as we, SWMBO and myself are the baddies and those who don't deal with the real him just think we just just agree with whatever he says and let him do as he pleases (though they do seem to find a plethora of ways to avoid, or cancel, spending time with him 😉 😆 ). Today has been blissfully uneventful. We can't quite work out whether he's ignoring us* or has had a moment of lucidity and is a bit embarrassed ... * slightly less likely as he just has to poke and snipe at anyone who he can't charm and/or doesn't kow tow to him ...
Badger 2 Oct 12:47pm, 2 Oct 2022 15,619 posts	0 Badger Bit behind here. Condolences, Terminator, sounds pretty sudden in the end. Driving thing is tricky. My father stopped driving at night because he knew his eyesight wasn't cutting it, then decided he had a responsibility to drive one night and hit a barrier at a roundabout. Nobody hurt and he surrendered his licence after that.

Got something to say?

To join the discussion, sign in or join us.

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD

I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk

Useful Links

FE accepts no responsibility for external links. Or anything, really.

Alarm company

Related Threads

age
family
support

The Doctor K Cup

This year sees the fifth edition of our annual challenge in memory of the Fetchies who have sadly passed away. It's named after Doctor K, who died of pancreatic cancer in 2017

Find out how to join in

Are you doing the right training?

See typical mileage, pace and long run stats for every distance and goal. See a comparison with your own training.

Are you race ready?

Heart Rate Analysis

See your heart rate training data from the last 12 months broken down in technicolour.

Listen to your heart

Flat as a pancake?

We've collected thousands of your reviews from events, and worked out which races give you the best chance of a fast time!

Check the lists