Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

116 watchers
21 May
7:44am, 21 May 2022
51395 posts
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Mandy - that sounds like the worst ever Ready Steady Cook ;-)

LMH - it's three things.
1. She has dementia herself, just not as advanced as FiL
2. She is the most stubborn person I've ever met. If you tell her 'but you've got twenty bars' she'll either go into instant denial or say 'we're getting through them'. Or get angry.
3. It's a physical thing as well. She's not as mobile as she was. The honey & jam was all going in a cupboard at floor level so she's subsequently reluctant to go look. Ditto this cupboard. She doesn't like bending.
21 May
7:52am, 21 May 2022
51396 posts
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Oh, the other thing. They have a tiny fridge as part of the fitted kitchen so there's another fridge and separate standing freezer in their garage.

MiL told Liebling's sister that for some reason the food was going off in the secondary fridge. Couldn't understand it.

So my SiL went to investigate. The fridge was unplugged. God knows how long it had been like that. MiL regularly unplugs it to use the socket for hoovering apparently.

Why, when there are sockets all over the house? Because the ones in the garage are at shoulder height, whereas she'd have to bend to use one in the main house.

The other daft thing about that is that they have help three times a week. Someone comes in who is supposed to do the cleaning or hoovering or whatever.
21 May
8:02am, 21 May 2022
54744 posts
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21 May
8:08am, 21 May 2022
5794 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Oh dear McG. Sounds like there's a lot going on. I wouldn't be surprised if your MiL is cleaning up before the help goes in.
21 May
9:51am, 21 May 2022
5441 posts
  • 0
We had our sockets put about 3 feet from the floor when we were rewired 20 years ago. No bending for us.
21 May
1:05pm, 21 May 2022
5795 posts
  • 0
Little Miss Happy
That was good forward thinking icemaiden.

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About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)

Other useful links



Who pays for residential care? Information here:


Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.


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