depression

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idle_wilder May 2020 1:32pm, 27 May 2020 1,976 posts	0 idle_wilder Just catching up now and hope you're doing ok NRGEE (and very glad there are so many lovely Fetchies).
NRGEE May 2020 12:03am, 28 May 2020 565 posts	0 NRGEE Last night was terrible and I don't feel any better tonight. I did ring the crisis team last night and they told me to dial 111 to speak to a dr about increasing my diazepam for the night. I was told a Dr would ring me back soon...........; but nobody did. So in sheer desperation I took it on myself to double my dose of diazepam. i told the crisis team this am and they said I had to contact my gp practice and also the psychiatrist I had spoken to yesterday. Basically it gave me 2 hrs of sleep and all morning I felt hungover- but no serious adverse affects( which apparently there could have been). This afternoon was v stressful as I had to attend the one stop breast clinic for diagnosis and management of a breast lump. An ultrasound showed a 1cm cyst v deep near to my ribcage. As I am slim the Dr told me i have v little fatty breast tissue. She really had to push to get the needle into the cyst through the muscle. it has been drained but is v likely to recur and she said I will be a regular visitor to the department My morton's neuroma in my left foot is returning- was surgically excised in 2013- but was told it could recur. Just one more thing to add to my worry list. My bone density scan is next tuesday- I am pretty sure I will now have osteoporosis- which will make me even more depressed ( if that is possible) I DID pay privately for a coronavirus antibody test which has come back POSITIVE. This doesn't surprise me and in a way I am relieved. I know no one knows if the antibodies provide me any long term immunity- and I still have to abide by the government guidleines. I am 100% sure I got it off a patient in the inpatient unit I was in for depression. But for pt confidentiality the staff won't tell me if the lady concerned had the coronavirus. I have shared the document from the laboratory that analysed my blood- with my psychiatrist and said I am happy for him to let the inpatient unit know my results if he thinks it necessary. So in summary i have severe mental health problems that are getting worse. I can't sleep. I am getting flashbacks from PTSD. I feel I can't cope with life at all......; but with all of your kind words and Mr Fetch's personal e mail- I feel supported. My usual pyschiatrist is back on monday and my CPN and GP are ringing tomorrow. PLease keep the kind words and support coming- reading them distracts me from my v dark thoughts. I feel I am in a tunnel and everyday it just gets darker and darker with more new issues to deal with. THANK YOU FETCHIES YOU ARE "VIRTUALLY" HELPING TO KEEP ME ALIVE- I shall report back tomorrow. NRGEE
12barDavid May 2020 5:04am, 28 May 2020 3,066 posts	0 12barDavid Thanks for keeping us updated, you are going through a tough time NRGEE. Please know that you are in our thoughts & we send you lots of love 💕 & hugs 🤗.
ThorntonRunner May 2020 6:16am, 28 May 2020 3,335 posts	0 ThorntonRunner Thanks for the update - keep on updating us. Thinking of you and wishing you strength and peace (())
SarahWoo May 2020 6:46am, 28 May 2020 11,328 posts	0 SarahWoo One minute at a time, NRGEE. We all rooting for you - keep posting xx
1step2far May 2020 8:18am, 28 May 2020 5,396 posts	0 1step2far Oh NGREE Just catching up on everything. I'm sorry you've had such an awful time. I hope Crisis team/ CPN/ GP can help. You have so much going on medically as well. Just keep going, 1 minute at a time.
Hills of Death (HOD) May 2020 9:21am, 28 May 2020 34,923 posts	0 Hills of Death (HOD) You are doing a great job NRGEE keep telling yourself that
idle_wilder May 2020 7:35pm, 29 May 2020 1,987 posts	0 idle_wilder I don't realistically have anything to complain about compared to so many others, but I've been having a really down week this week. Even my training went to pot this week, which has been the one constant I've managed to make myself do until yesterday. Even with Scotland's lockdown starting to ease and today being the first day we can meet another household, I'm struggling to reach out as I feel like I've drifted away from so many people and not made the effort to keep in touch. Family are just a bit too far away for me to justify a journey out to see them at the moment. I left my job at the start of the year as they were making all support staff redundant in Feb and I had just about been feeling ready to look for a new job when Covid really hit the fan. So the lack of job, lack of prospects/knowing what I even want to do and being stuck at home has just increased my anxiety. OH has still been working throughout and is the type who is quite happy to get home and not leave the house until he has to go back to work.
idle_wilder May 2020 7:36pm, 29 May 2020 1,988 posts	0 idle_wilder Just a brain dump really to get it out - medication decreased the week before lockdown and don't really want to go back to docs to increase just now, but will see how I go. Hope everyone is doing OK.
Corrah May 2020 8:13pm, 29 May 2020 5,595 posts	0 Corrah Hugs to you too I_W xx