Bereavement

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mushroom Aug 2020 7:51am, 27 Aug 2020 1,213 posts	0 mushroom After mum died I cried a lot while running - it helps with emptying my mind anyway - and I think I was just free to let it go.
Mrs Jigs (Luverlylegs) Aug 2020 7:57am, 27 Aug 2020 30,450 posts	0 Mrs Jigs (Luverlylegs) Big_G I would consider it perfectly normal, at such an awfully sad time I think we try to hold on to a little bit of normal, also gives a person the space they need to try to process the situation.
Big_G Aug 2020 8:03am, 27 Aug 2020 161 posts	0 Big_G Mushroom, yeah, in the early days/weeks/months I was running with tears streaming down my face on occasion. But I still just knew I wanted to be out there. Mrs Jigs, totally agree. I think (well, I know) some of my non-running friends thought I was doing too much and literally "running away" from things. I calmly tried to explain that wasn't possible to do and in fact running was being beneficial to me. I think that's the thing. When she died everything - and I mean absolutely everything - changed. But running was and still is a constant. One thing I was lucky to find was a group that is for people who have lost partners at a young age (there are an upsetting number of us out there). Finding that group, as well as the running, are the things that helped me the most. Being people who just "got it" was massively, massively helpful.
Big_G Aug 2020 8:05am, 27 Aug 2020 162 posts	0 Big_G *Being with people...
EvilPixie Aug 2020 8:11am, 27 Aug 2020 18,450 posts	0 EvilPixie tearful runs - yep when you finish and you are red in the face people just assume it's the run it allows you to run, and cry, without the fear of being judged when dad was in the hospice I stayed at mum's for a while and cycled there and back daily (6m to the hospice was actually quicker than driving most days) and crying on the bike is less good
mushroom Sep 2020 10:29am, 7 Sep 2020 1,219 posts	0 mushroom My youngest started high school today. I forget what the triggers are until they happen, but it's days like today that I miss my parents - all the excitement and pride of seeing their grandchildren reach certain milestones like going off to school.
LindsD Sep 2020 10:31am, 7 Sep 2020 40,439 posts	0 LindsD I know what you mean
Derby Tup Sep 2020 10:33am, 7 Sep 2020 46,081 posts	0 Derby Tup My mum never knew I got married or have a dog. I often imagine her telling friends, ‘oooh, you’ll never guess what; our Andrew got married’
Lip Gloss Sep 2020 10:46am, 7 Sep 2020 43,716 posts	0 Lip Gloss My mum saw all her grandchildren but none of her great grandchildren sadly and my dad isn't that interested
Pinkliverbird Jun 2022 10:47am, 19 Jun 2022 2,141 posts	0 Pinkliverbird Hello, just found this thread. It’s been a while since someone posted, but wondering if it’s still active. My husband died on the 26th May. He was diagnosed with lung cancer last year and had surgery in October. Things seemed to be going ok, but at the beginning of April we discovered that the lung cancer had metastasised to his brain, then shortly after that, to his lower spine. Although we were told that it was now terminal, and to make plans, things seemed to happen far quicker than we expected. He was relatively ok, and receiving radiotherapy to the head, then a few weeks after that, and over a course of a week, deteriorated rapidly. I was so glad I was able to be with him when he died (he was in hospital for that week), I think I would have been traumatised had I not been. But it’s something I will never forget. I’ve been feeling numb most of the time, and a bit lost, but with waves of reality happening every so often.