Bereavement

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Aug 2020
1:19pm, 24 Aug 2020
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Mrs Jigs (Luverlylegs)
It strikes me that we have a variety of threads to discuss life and its challenges but we don’t have a thread to cover bereavement, most of us (if not all) will lose someone special at some point in our life and I am not alone in thinking it’s healthy to discuss loss and how it affects us.

So let’s talk about it here.
Aug 2020
1:38pm, 24 Aug 2020
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McGoohan
Very good idea for a thread Mrs J.

It's 14 years since my Dad died, 8 since my sister and 5 since my Mum but it still gets to me from time to time. Sometimes I'll forget and see some film or piece of news and think 'I'll just phone my... ah, no I can't.'
Aug 2020
1:38pm, 24 Aug 2020
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Diogenes
Good idea Mrs Jigs.

My Facebook memory this Morning was a post Mrs D made of lots of pictures of her and the children on the beach at Saundersfoot. I wondered why I wasn’t in them and then realised it was the day I had left them there to go to my Dad who was on the way out. He died the next day. Somehow it is my absence that day that brings it back hardest.
Aug 2020
1:39pm, 24 Aug 2020
46586 posts
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McGoohan
And I'm sure there are many more Fetchies with much more recent bereavements who will be struggling ATM
Aug 2020
1:39pm, 24 Aug 2020
46587 posts
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McGoohan
(Sorry xpost there)
Aug 2020
1:45pm, 24 Aug 2020
52394 posts
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Diogenes
No worries. Perhaps one of the things worth mentioning is that the memories will return at odd times and, even though they still hurt, You will be glad of them.
Aug 2020
1:52pm, 24 Aug 2020
30445 posts
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Mrs Jigs (Luverlylegs)
I am struggling at the moment, I have just lost my estranged sister at the age of 53, last saw her at my Mum’s funeral 10 years ago, C was estranged by choice from all her siblings, it was sudden and probably could have been avoided, she was too scared of Covid to seek help when she had pneumonia.

I am finding it difficult to know how to handle my thoughts and emotions, I don’t know what I should feel.
Aug 2020
2:00pm, 24 Aug 2020
52396 posts
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Diogenes
Spend as much time As you need with your thoughts and don’t be afraid to think and feel whatever comes to you. Don’t deny yourself anything
Aug 2020
2:09pm, 24 Aug 2020
18399 posts
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EvilPixie
great idea

Mum shielding (now won't leave the house)
Dad passed July last year
I speak to her daily on Facetime

Every time she goes to the cemetery (was 3-4 times a week last year and now after a break of several weeks she is going once a week) she is down and depressed and starts talking about things.

The one she keeps going back to is an injection the hospital gave dad hours before he passed - she's convinced it was to speed things up

I know she is lonely and has no one else to speak to but I don't like it and scream in my head "I don't want to be discussing this. I don't want to hear this" whilst nodding and letting her speak

being alone and shielding has meant she is constantly thinking about things (9 years of fighting at least 3 types of cancer and diabetes) and it's not good
Aug 2020
2:55pm, 24 Aug 2020
4691 posts
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Surrey Phil
My mum passed away 12 years ago from emphysema and a fatal heart attack. After the cremation, she was interned at a natural burial ground near the South Downs. It's a lovely spot and was nothing more than field with a few saplings at the time - one of which is hers. It has become almost a wood since then.

I like going there before the Brighton Marathon or any other event on the south coast just to keep things in perspective and take my mind off the race. She hated me running anything more than 10k and an immediate phone call was requested after finishing a half or a full marathon as she worried so much.

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It strikes me that we have a variety of threads to discuss life and its challenges but we don’t ha...

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