depression

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Mix
Apr 2015
11:13am, 24 Apr 2015
4 posts
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Mix
I'm still here, as in alive and kicking, thanks DT
I'm having acupuncture and my acupuncturist is great and is helping me in many ways.
I have also found some crystals... labradorite and ametrine, which have actually lifted my mood. Some people don't believe in crystal therapy but I am very attuned to crystal energy. So I cling to them as I have been clinging to life.
I also had a mini outburst to someone on the phone the other night, and said some things that I had subconsciously kept hidden deep down inside. It hasn't changed any of the facts but at the very least it was cathartic.
I hope everyone else on here is doing ok
Apr 2015
12:07pm, 24 Apr 2015
15,685 posts
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Derby Tup
Good to hear from you Mix. Depression is extremely complex and there's no right and wrong in treatment / coping I'm sure. Drugs, meditation, exercise, mindfulness all have their place. Same with "letting off steam" occasionally. It's OK sometimes to tell the truth ;-)
Apr 2015
12:15pm, 24 Apr 2015
5,054 posts
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Southcoastpete
Not too bad Mix, though yesterday was a struggle.

I'm on a lower dose of meds, so will be interesting to see what happens.

I did a session on crystal therapy last year, and despite being a bit sceptical, found it quite interesting. Wouldn't mind trying one.
Apr 2015
12:23pm, 24 Apr 2015
9 posts
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Gym_Bunny
I don't (think I) suffer from depression but I do know that I rarely feel bad when running and it generally improves my mood, outlook and physical and mental wellbeing.
Mix
Apr 2015
1:11pm, 24 Apr 2015
5 posts
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Mix
That's the thing Gym_Bunny, I used to run, I used to run a lot but now I can't, and I haven't been able to for well over a year due to illness. And actually that was what came out during my little outburst the other night... I miss it like I would miss my right arm, I miss the race entries, the training, the preparations, I miss the taper, I miss the carb loading ritual, I miss pinning my number on, I miss the start line and I miss the race, the challenge, the finish line, the results, I miss it all like there's a gaping hole that can't be filled. My illness means I can't physically exert myself in any way, so I miss the endorphines and the feeling of being dead on your feet but very very alive at the same time.
Not being able to exercise is not the whole reason why I've got to such a dark place, there are other reasons too which I can't go into here. I do want to retain my anonymity here because if I lose that then I won't feel comfortable to share what is trying to kill me, and if I can't share that then it will grow in the dark
Apr 2015
5:19pm, 26 Apr 2015
199 posts
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Bex66
Back after 5 months in a pretty dark place. Suffer from recurrent depression and this was the worst yet as it went on way beyond the 3 month norm. Still, had 15 month episode free before that so that was an improvement. Back running again , well run/walking to build back up to 5 km race in June. Keep going folks. It does get better eventually, I promise
Apr 2015
1:25pm, 29 Apr 2015
11 posts
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Gym_Bunny
Sorry, Mix. I wasn't aware of your background. I guess I should have read the messages on here first! I was injured in the past and couldn't run for six months so I know a little of what you're going through. Hang in there, try and focus on how good it will feel when you get back to running. And if you have to do a different sport of form of exercise in the future then so be it.
May 2015
7:20pm, 1 May 2015
6,846 posts
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rf_fozzy
Shit day here. Was panning out quite well, but my boss came to see me at about 4.15 saying he had a complaint that had been taken to the HoD saying I was regularly wasting people's time by being late and missing meetings and appointments. To be fair, he was very good about it, and said no-one had spoken to him and that he didn't understand why the person hadn't spoken to me directly instead of escalating it directly to HoD level

I'm basically a bit shocked - there's been a couple of occasions a couple of months ago where I missed something, but I apologised and have tried hard not to do so again. As far as I'm aware I've not missed anything else - there's been a few situations where I've been 5-10 mins late for things, but I've tried to let people know when this has been the case.

The bit that makes me very cross is why someone needed to go behind my back and say something was a problem to the HoD, when they haven't even come to me and said, look here is a problem, we need to sort it out. If I don't know there's an issue, how can I possibly solve it?

It's added a lot of stress and worry at a time I really didn't need it. Great.
May 2015
10:05pm, 1 May 2015
15,761 posts
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Derby Tup
Sorry to hear this fozzy. Some strange folk about. Many aren't happy to get on themselves, but have to set others back
May 2015
10:54pm, 1 May 2015
6,847 posts
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rf_fozzy
It's just very frustrating. The person who took it to the HoD I thought I got on OK with - they've never mentioned it to me. It's not even the person whose time I've alleged to have wasted - it was someone else.

I just keep asking myself why they didn't just come talk to me if there was a problem and then we can try and find a solution, instead of threatening me with disciplinary action if something (which I'm not even clear what it is I've done) doesn't improve!

I don't get Passive Aggression.

This could all have been sorted out with a quiet 5min chat, instead of escalating to this level.

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