depression
241 watchers
Mar 2015
11:49pm, 21 Mar 2015
11,503 posts
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UltraDunc
But I'm Fckd, by estranged partner, daughter,Stepson, and nil communication! I just dont understand what I have done so bad? I've stayed away and not mithered for 6 weeks!
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Mar 2015
6:58pm, 27 Mar 2015
First-time poster!!
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Mix
I feel trapped in life by people I love, my children, my husband. So I'm forced to live even when it feels too painful to go on |
Mar 2015
8:44am, 28 Mar 2015
291 posts
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SailorSteve
My wife has shared your thoughts Mix. Wish I could offer more than "she's doing really well now" but she really is and I hope you find something to give you hope.
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Mar 2015
3:45pm, 28 Mar 2015
18,517 posts
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sioux
For some reason I keep hearing Robbie Williams song 'Feel' this week and there's a line that sums how I'm feeling up well. Think a few of you will 'get' it......... I don't wanna die but I ain't keen on living either. Tho that said im a bit better than a week or so ago. |
Apr 2015
4:23pm, 2 Apr 2015
2 posts
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Mix
I'm scared. On the outside I'm holding it together, like an actor playing a part, I think I'm quite convincing and I can hide so well. I've been a member of fetch for a long time, but you can't see me hurting this bad, I won't let you. But I'm scared that if I keep hiding, it will be easier for me to disappear
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Apr 2015
11:16am, 4 Apr 2015
294 posts
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SailorSteve
I think we're all acting to some extent Mix. Does anyone around you know how you feel? It took a long long time but once my wife came to terms with the fact that this illness wasn't going away, she chose to stop trying to be the someone that she thought she "should" be, and be the person she is. This means we've dropped some people who don't "get it" and only spend time with people who do. This has meant my wife is "acting" less and being herself more. This (and the meds) has brought a measure of peace and made carrying on not just imagineable but pretty positive more of the time. Just a few thoughts about what's working for us. |
Apr 2015
11:30am, 4 Apr 2015
15,248 posts
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Derby Tup
The holding it together on the outside, the fear of people finding out the truth, the denial something's wrong are all so typical of depression. A couple of years ago I found myself no longer able to "act". I was in a lay-by in my car not able to move. It was the start of the long ongoing journey to recovery. The good thing was I actually spoke out after decades (I never remember feeling normal as a child; I was always up and down at best) of acting. Speak to someone and get help. Please
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Apr 2015
1:49pm, 4 Apr 2015
4 posts
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MaxDamage
Hey Mix, like you I have spent years putting on an act and a very good one as well. I would say you can't act all the time. Please do tell someone, you'll find your GP will be very supportive. If you feel your GP isn't the type to be sympathetic ask the receptionist at your surgery to refer you to a GP in that practice who is. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem in the first place. I've only just started but it already feels like a slight weight off my shoulders..
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Apr 2015
12:48pm, 6 Apr 2015
3 posts
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Mix
Thank you for your messages. I don't have a doctor who I can trust at the moment, I've actually got a complaint against the whole practice which has recently been escalated to the Ombudsman. I have to stay alive for everyone else, I know I couldn't put my children through losing their mum to suicide, nor my husband. I have been trying to put myself in their position if I did, or how I would feel if my husband ended his life, it's unimaginable for me so I suppose my life is safe. There is a lot going on for my husband right now, he knows I'm down but I don't think he realises how down I am and I don't want to add another worry to everything he has to worry about already. He is going to the US on 22nd May for 10 days, I'm actually looking forward to some time on my own. |
Apr 2015
9:47pm, 17 Apr 2015
15,591 posts
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Derby Tup
Mix, how you doing?
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