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Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

3 lurkers | 152 watchers
TeeBee
TeeBee
Dec 2023
9:44am, 26 Dec 2023
10,138 posts
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TeeBee
Sending love and a hug to you all, McGoohan. Sounds very upsetting.
Bazoaxe
Bazoaxe
Dec 2023
10:52am, 26 Dec 2023
26,148 posts
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Bazoaxe
That is a very important thing for us all to remember McGoohan. I have seen that fear as well and it must be overwhelming when you can no longer cope with simple life tasks that you used to.
Little Miss Happy
Little Miss Happy
Dec 2023
3:49pm, 26 Dec 2023
6,820 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Whilst I hear what you're saying McG the valid reasons for the behaviour doesn't stop it being difficult/upsetting/annoying and as far as I've seen that's never stopped you doing the right thing.
MH
MH
Dec 2023
7:47pm, 26 Dec 2023
1,023 posts
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MH
Not a great visit to MiL today - She told us she needed to die. Just as we were heading out the door she's getting up and says she needs the toilet as I move to go back in it's clear it's all a bit too late, so try to get her to commode and OH goes to alert the care staff (not that my feelings matter here, but I felt totally useless). I kind of hope she doesn't go on for much longer - she is 98 - as she is now where she feared she might be when she (without dementia at that point) asked to be taken to Switzerland...
We're both a bit muted here tonight, I have to say.
leaguefreak
leaguefreak
Dec 2023
10:19pm, 26 Dec 2023
11,886 posts
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leaguefreak
Sorry to hear that. I hope she manages to feel settled soon and that she doesn't have to linger if that's not right for her.
LindsD
LindsD
Dec 2023
10:32pm, 26 Dec 2023
65,735 posts
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LindsD
I'm sorry
Little Miss Happy
Little Miss Happy
Dec 2023
6:22am, 27 Dec 2023
6,821 posts
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Little Miss Happy
(((MH)))
CK2
CK2
Dec 2023
6:29am, 27 Dec 2023
2,494 posts
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CK2
Oh MH that’s so hard. I know how that feeling useless is so debilitating but just being with your MiL at this time (and your OH) is supportive. (( ))
EvilPixie
EvilPixie
Dec 2023
6:54am, 27 Dec 2023
50,136 posts
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EvilPixie
Sorry to hear that
Mandymoo
Mandymoo
Dec 2023
7:24am, 27 Dec 2023
18,007 posts
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Mandymoo
So hard MH xx

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk
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